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Wanna see my penis?


Valerie: Happy Birthday, Jenna!
Jenna: Up until that moment, the rumors of my death wish had been greatly exaggerated.

Jenna: If my life had an escape button I would have checked out for the day. There was only one small problem...
Lacey: Make a wish!
Jenna: It was my God damn birthday.

Okay, remember to check your mirrors and don't let anything distract you, especially cyclists - spandex bastards think they own the road.


There was nothing happy about it. It was just another crap day in two thousand suck.


I didn't give a s**t if I set off the alarms, it was a real emergency.


In case you're wondering I am calling from Hell.


Lacey: Isn't it perfect?
Jenna: Yep. Perfect for entertaining clients as a highly paid escort.

As far as I was concerned 15 could suck it because 16, well, it was starting off pretty damn good.

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