Captain Holt: You're going to leave my precinct and my task force alone. Or else, you're "Wuntch" meat.
Jake: You sure you wanna go with that one?
Captain Holt: Absolutely. It's hilarious.

Well, lucky for you, proof is my middle name. And yours is... Jared! Juice box! Jellyfish! Jamiroquai!


Someone's got a case of the sleepover jokies.


Charles: I'll handle him. You take care of Amy.
Gina: But how do I make it look like an accident?
Charles: I'm not saying murder. Just talk to her like a normal person.

If I had known it was our last time, I would have moaned more.


Wow! There's so many fancy buttons on your steering wheel. It's like a spy car!


Sorry, I have to talk my twins into getting their hair done. There are some promises about lollipops I do not intend to keep.


The good news is I can be brief about it. There's nothing.


You're three minutes Chicago.


You got a badditude. That's a bad attitude.


School is cool. That's why it rhymes.


You're the champagne of friends.


Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Hi, Gina Linetti, the human form of the 100 emoji.


Amy: Rule number one, let's not tell anyone so we can figure out what this is first.
Jake: Smart. Rule number two, let's not put labels on it. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend, we're just...murmzeep and jinglebin.
Amy: Great. Rule number three, let's not have sex right away.
Jake: (pause) Cool. Cool cool cool cool cool cool cool, no doubt no doubt no doubt no doubt. Good rule, no sex, good rule.