Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes
Hoytsman: Okay, it was cocaine! Turns out I was accidentally doing some cocaine.
Jake: Not on accident. You put it in your nose on purpose.
Hoytsman: I don't even think I have a nose Peralta! I certainly cannot feel it. The defense rests!
Amy: So, you think we can laugh about me poisining you?
Capt. Holt: Yes, I do. Someday. Perhaps over street meat. (chuckles)
Amy: Sir, did you just laugh?
Capt. Holt: Uproariously.
Amy: Oh my God! It's happening!
Rosa: You're back so soon. Did you catch your guy?
Capt. Holt: No. He was dead, so I'll never catch him. Oh, Amy bought us tainted meat and now I have diarrhea.
Amy: So, who was your partner back when you caught the Brooklyn Broiler?
Capt. Holt: Mark Ormancup. He was a great partner-smart, loyal, homophobic, but not racist. In those days, that was pretty good.
Sgt. Terry: It's nice to have someone to share this secret with. I'm pregnant man!
Jake: We're pregnant, we because I convinced you not to have a vasectomy. So, if it wasn't for me, you'd have no penis.
Sgt. Terry: You still don't know what a vasectomy is.
Jake: (in a faux British accent) Any smile longer than a second and a half is a conman's ruse.
Capt. Holt: I said it and I meant it!
Jake: I've never seen Capt. Holt that upset before. He's like a sad block of granite.
Boyle: How do you cheer up granite?
Separate parties. Separate but equal. Forget I said that phrase!Jake
Say boo again and I will shoot you in the stomach.Rosa
Gina: Just to clarify, how untethered is Vacation Terry from his wife?
Terry: Very tethered.
Charles: Are we friends again?
Jake: No...we're brothers.
Charles: That was terrifying, don't pause like that!
If you hadn't stopped the elevator you could have walked off after your great speech. Now we all gotta sit in it.Gina