I got aroused last night watching a nature documentary on bees. It was fine until they went inside a hive.

Charles

I love the spray tan, Joey. Let me take a picture of you, I wanna show the colour to the guy who stains my deck!

Jake

I don't know what's gonna happen on this assignment, and if something bad goes down, I think I'd be pissed at myself if I didn't say this. I kinda wish something could happen, between us, romantic styles.

Jake

I don't wanna be a jerk, I know you're dating Teddy and it's going really well.

Jake

This whole place reeks of bacon. Well guess what? I'm going kosher. Cause Jakey don't dig on swine!

Jake

You can't handle the me!

Jake

How did you manage to step on both of my feet at the same time

Jake

Vivian is my fiancee. My ex-fiancee. My never-wife.

Charles

Forget your ex, have meaningless sex. It rhymes because it's true.

Gina

Good point, Captain Holt. Or should I say Captain Raymond Sex-Vibes!

Jake

Terry: Sorry about your hand.
Charles: Thanks. It makes it really hard to manipulate my egg sack.

Judge: I'm sorry, I had to take that.
Holt: You gotta do what you gotta do. Captain Raymond Holt. What's up

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes

Jake: So talk to me Goose, how are we lookin'?
Gina: Sexy, but not like we're trying to, but like, sure we're trying, but it's almost effortless?

“The Squad” is the best book I ever read, and I’ve read 15 books.

Peralta