Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBCBrooklyn Nine-Nine Quotes
Maybe I should have offered free streudel. Maybe then Scully would have come.
Terry
Terry: I do not want a repeat of last year when Scully called me fifty times on Christmas morning.
Scully: No, I called you once, my butt called the other forty-nine.
We don't need guns. I have a lighter, okay, we get some hairspray, make some flame throwers. Let's fry these bitches.
Gina
Charles: How are we going to get past them without a gun fight?
Jake: I'll tell you how John McClane would do it, the vents.
Charles: Blast the A/C, they get chilly, they leave to find sweaters.
Jake: No, we're going to climb through them.
Charles: Even better, classic use of vents.
Amy: You guys are doing a polar swim, why didn't you ask me?
Captain Holt: We didn't think you'd be interested.
Rosa: You're always cold, you brought a blanket to a Mets game in mid-July.
Jake: There's more? Charles, this is too much.
Charles: Nonsense, it was just a lot of time and a lot of money.
Awwww gross! Come out of an egg next time!
Jake
Terry: IT says the internet is down.
Gina: What?! Nooooooooo! I just clicked a link that said "Balloon Boy grew up hot." Now I will never see those pictures!
Rosa: Can't you just use the internet on your phone?
Gina: Bitch you know I'm out of data!
Terry: Also keep Captain Holt away from her.
Jake: Really? Why?
Terry: He's always weird around her and it stresses her out. She says he reminds her of those judgemental trees from Lord of The Rings.
Jake: (scoffs) They're called Ents, get a life, dweeb.
Sharon: A doula is someone who supports you emotionally and physically, and coaches you through the process.
Jake: Oh I see, so sort of like a vaginal Gandalf.
Who doesn't bring their phone with them into the bathroom? That's like the whole reason to go in there.
Jake
Terry: Feels like you're being a little harsh.
Rosa: Thanks, good note. I was going for extremely harsh, I'll turn it up.
