Jake: Bing-pot!! Nope, I was gonna say bingo and then I was like jackpot's better but then it was too late, I was halfway through the word.
Charles: Bingpot works! It's taking off!

• Permalink: Bingpot works! It's taking off!
• Added: May 13, 2015

Holt: Deathblade! Sidewinder! It's go time!
Jake: Roger that, Wet Blanket.
Holt: No, from now on call me....Velvet Thunder!

• Permalink: Velvet Thunder
• Added: May 13, 2015

Jake: Hey Captain, whatcha thinking about?
Holt: Mostly about how Madeline Wuntch will destroy me because you wanted a helicopter to play action movie.
Jake: No, I needed a helicopter because I was chasing a bad guy because I'm a cop.
Holt: Really, it wasn't just to make this case "epic"?
Jake: This case is epic! You're just too wrapped up in the politics to see it. Sir, we're tracking a triple-murderer who stole 21 million dollars and all you can think about is Madeline Wuntch.

• Permalink: This case is epic! You're just too wrapped up in the politics to see it. Sir, we're tracking...
• Added: May 13, 2015

(imitating Wuntch) You could have had a chopper, Raymond. Why didn't you take advantage? Just a minute, my cauldron's boiling over.

Holt

• Permalink: You could have had a chopper, Raymond. Why didn't you take advantage? Just a minute, my...
• Added: May 13, 2015

Holt: I put myself on this case to make sure that you don't waste time turning this into another Ron McLean movie.
Jake: You know it's John McLean!

• Permalink: You know it's John McLean!
• Added: May 13, 2015

Wuntch: Hello Raymond. How do you like my new office? 20th floor.
Holt: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.

• Permalink: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.
• Added: May 13, 2015

Okay, you two are obviously the alphas. Let me guess, you're dating the blond kid, and you like Filipino Bieber but you're worried he's still into Little Miss Side-Braid-Jenky-Purse.

Gina

• Permalink: Okay, you two are obviously the alphas. Let me guess, you're dating the blond kid, and you...
• Added: May 13, 2015

She's the devil, and you don't dance with the devil because you get burned. Also, because in Madeline's case she has no rhythm, and her hands are like little rat claws.

Holt

• Permalink: She's the devil, and you don't dance with the devil because you get burned. Also, because in...
• Added: May 13, 2015

Holt: Why would you jump out of a helicopter with a knife in your mouth?
Jake: It's called a "chopper", and the knife is in my mouth because both of my hands are holding giant machine-guns.

• Permalink: Jake: It's called a "chopper", and the knife is in my mouth because both of my hands are holding
• Added: May 13, 2015

I'd give you a hug, but right now my body has the structural integrity of a chocolate souffle.

Jake

• Permalink: I'd give you a hug, but right now my body has the structural integrity of a chocolate souffle.
• Added: April 26, 2015

Terry: Jake! Are you okay!?
Jake: No, Sarge, I got hit by a car!

• Permalink: No, Sarge, I got hit by a car!
• Added: April 26, 2015

Amy: All I wanted to do was impress Captain Holt, and you know what, it didn't matter. It didn't matter that we were late, it didn't matter that I was chill, it didn't matter that the rats ate my salad.
Gina: Oh no, I definitely saw them running away from it.

• Permalink: Oh no, I definitely saw them running away from it.
• Added: April 26, 2015