Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Thursdays 8:00 PM on NBCBrooklyn Nine-Nine Season 2 Quotes
Jake: (in a faux British accent) Any smile longer than a second and a half is a conman's ruse.
Capt. Holt: I said it and I meant it!
Jake: I've never seen Capt. Holt that upset before. He's like a sad block of granite.
Boyle: How do you cheer up granite?
Charles: Are we friends again?
Jake: No...we're brothers.
Charles: That was terrifying, don't pause like that!
If you hadn't stopped the elevator you could have walked off after your great speech. Now we all gotta sit in it.
Gina
The Drop House. Perfect name for a port-a-potty company. As soon as we get out of here I'm taking that straight to Shark Tank.
Jake
You remember my nephew Marcus, the thirty-one year old? He asked me to ask you if you are single. I told him I'm not a third grade girl with pigtails passing love letters.
Captain Holt
Rosa: I'm out. Four hours is the most I've ever spent alone with any human. It was the worst experience of my life.
Amy: What about that time we drove up to Boston together? That was about four hours. Oh I see what just happened.
Trust me, turn the other cheek, which I recently learned is about faces, and not butts, but works either way.
Jake
Captain, you're smiling, it's very weird, like seeing a turtle out of its shell.
Jake
I guess it's officially over. It was slightly less gross than expected. Way to be.
Gina
Not to overstate, but I'm definitely going to die alone and work is all I have.
Jake
Sophia: I can't believe I had sex with a cop. It's like I had sex with Hans Gruber.
Jake: You're the Gruber!
(courtroom stares)
Jake: Die Hard
