Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

Movie Karen: Why does he love her so much? I mean what is it about her?
Hank: I don't know. I don't think I've ever known. I think sometimes you get it right the first time and then it defines your life. It becomes who you are.

You know what I think Dad? I think it's all going to be OK. Chapters end. Sometime you gotta shake things up.

Becca

Hank: You're clearly the better man.
Ben: Yeah Hank? Like that was ever up for debate buddy.

Stinky snatch! P.U.!

Eddie

Ugh this is so boring! I wish we were at the kid's table and you were finger banging me underneath it.

Peggy

Well listen we don't need to work this out today Karen, but I would like to pick your brain and I do think you should consider opening yourself up to me sexually. Are you spoken for?

Eddie

Sasha: Once you fucked my mother my vagina pretty much sealed right up.
Hank: So you're like a Barbi now?

Peggy: I was just telling him I started my period and that my cherry poppin' daddy needs to earn his red wings.
Hank: Oh boy, this planet that you're from? How far from the sun we talking?
Peggy: Excuse fellas, this dirty little girl scout needs to plug herself up. Don't worry Charlie, I'll let you pull the string.

Karen: And the judge? Did you sleep with the judge too?
Hank: No, no, just a little oral and some anal. Its hard to get the robe up.

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