Californication

Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication
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Hank: At least I'm not tucking my dong in class, not with my pants off anyway.
Felicia: Have you taken the sexual harassment seminar yet?

I am saying that if you can do anything else with your life right now, anything at all, I think maybe you should do that the world doesn't need any more lame vampire fiction, you know what I'm saying? You with me amigo?

Hank

If you and I were trapped on a desert island, it would only be a matter of time before I was putting it in your pooper.

Charlie

Charlie: Can I ask you a question, Sue?
Sue: The answer is yes, I would love a face ride.

Marcie: What are you thinking?
Charlie: Guess I thought it was something you might enjoy. You know, and maybe in the middle, you'd be like, 'God, I really do love this schmuck.'
Marcie: You thought that in the middle of raping me, I'd realize how much I love you?

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