Sundays 10:30 PM on Showtime
Californication

It's not your fault. I'm like fly paper for the emotionally disturbed.

Hank

So you're suggesting I should dump this whole writer thing and reinvent myself as a Hollywood manwhore?

Hank

Hank: Hideous creatures these teenage girls.
Felicia: Monstrous, couldn't agree with you more.
Hank: Is it too late to drown them in the tub?

Jackie: Writing is just a - a pipe dream. You can't really make a living doing something like that. Actually, that's how you end up teaching.
Hank: Ouch!

Jackie: Are you ok?
Hank: No, I just got my ass kicked by a J-crew catalog - I'm not OK.

Hank: This is frowned upon.
Jackie: Give me a break. You once spent an entire class ranting about how much you hate Coldplay. Something tells me you could care less about what's frowned upon.
Hank: Still one of my favorite lectures.

Hank: You still love me?
Karen: Always, that's the problem.

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