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Castle

Beckett: That's why she was throwing herself at you. She wanted you to recommend her for the part.
Castle: What?
Beckett: For the record, she's nothing like Nikki Heat.
Castle: Oh! You just can't stand it that a beautiful actress is actually interested in me.
Beckett: Why would I care?
Castle: Exactly. That's a good question. Why would you care?
Beckett: I don't!
Castle: Fine! I'm gonna go get some coffee.
Beckett: Fine! I've got work to do.

Beckett: What are you doing? (Castle looking into Bobby's evidence bag)
Castle: It's called investigating. You should try it.
Beckett: I usually wait until there's a crime.
Castle: Cell phone, money clip.
Castle: He stuck a piece of gum to a paper before he put it in his pocket.
Beckett: One of his last acts was not littering.
Castle: Yes, but there's a word on this paper..."tory." Could be a mystery woman.
Beckett: Wow, Castle. Cracking this case wide open.

Beckett: Ellie Monroe, huh?
Castle: Yeah, she's pretty upset about this whole Bobby Mann thing. That we were his last guests. She thinks it would be comforting if we were to be together.
Beckett: "Comforting?" Is that what the cool kids call it these days?

Castle: You sure you want to take that many books?
Alexis: Overambitious for a 5 day trip?
Castle: You're gonna be responsible for your own pack. I think you're supposed to be more Sacagawea than a scholarly reader. Besides, look at all those pages the trees might want revenge.

Janine Marks: He was banging my daughter right under my nose? I will kill him!
Castle: He's already dead.
Janine Marks: Well, I will kill him again. I don't care. Where's the corpse?

Kevin Ryan : Aren't famous people crazy and narcissistic?
Kate Beckett : I don't know. Gotta ask Castle.

There's no upside in screwing with things you can't explain.

Captain Roy Montgomery

Castle: Do you believe people get what they deserve?
Beckett: Well, if they do then I must have done something terrible to be punished with you.
Castle: Funny.

Beckett: You know Castle, sometimes I forget that you have such a capacity for pure innocence in your life.
Castle: Yeah, plus it was a great place to pickup chicks.
Beckett: Then you open your mouth and you ruin it.

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