I don't even know why I'm talking to you two anyway, you can't even lock down a man.

Platt

Cruz: His mom is due back when now?
Severide: An hour and a half ago.
Cruz: Well he's not gonna be a firefighter. Maybe a dog trainer.

Brett: You should definitely get that looked at.
Otis: Oh my God, are you saying I have cancer?
Brett: No Otis, I'm not saying you have cancer. I'm saying get a doctor to look at it so you don't give yourself an ulcer.

What can I say? I got a magic tongue. [to Mouch] Don't say it.

Kidd

Jimmy: Is it Groundhog Day or am I having a flashback?
Brett: Nope, same place.

Jimmy: Hey guys, the tortoise is getting away.
Dawson: Mouch, you gonna stop it?
Mouch: What's the rush?

You know it's funny, you'll do whatever it takes to get ahead, someone else asks for a hand suddenly you're all about ethics.

Severide

JJ: She likes you.
Severide; Your mom?
JJ: She calls you Kelly. Ever since my dad died, she calls almost every guy "nitwit", but you're just Kelly.

Kidd: What I am talking about is artisanal ice cubes. Look, Severide knows. Severide, you ever order a Scotch on the rocks and they bring you one, giant, perfectly clear ice cube?
Severide: Yeah.
Kidd: So, it's pretty awesome right?
Severide: Yeah, it keeps the drink cold, if that's what you mean.

Cruz: Watch out boys, Severide is looking for drinking buddies for tomorrow night.
Otis: Again? My liver’s still mad at me for Friday.
Herrmann: That guy oughta spend a quiet night at home for once.

Kidd: I figured you were just paying me back for pulling your ass out of that fire.
Severide: Is that what happened?
Kidd: Hell yeah. I saved your life. Don't forget it.

Brett: How is it you managed to crash into a parked vehicle?
Austin: I looked down at the radio to change the station. It was an emergency, they were playing Justin Bieber.

Chicago Fire Quotes

Kidd: I just got to keep busy. Working the bar’s good for that. Um, you know I’m gonna need some major distraction when I get home, right?
Severide: I think I can provide.
Kidd: You are so selfless.

Casey: Well, you gotta admit, he's happy.
Dawson: She's a graphic artist he met at the craps table. Her name is Brittany and she's from Florida? You know what that adds up to? Stripper!
Casey: What do you have against Florida?