You're gonna open it? You do realize that nothing good has ever been found in a vent?

Shirley

Shirley: Why are there books in the an air vent?
Jeff: Why is there hot sauce in the bathroom? It's Greendale!

Annie: That's why Abed is like a brother to me. You guys are so alike.
Abed: I can't accept that based on one time machine story.

You're like ice cream cake out there--overkill.

Abed

Britta: I'm a psych major! Words are my weapons!
Security Guard: I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons.

Britta: You know who else it made sense to?
Annie: Say 'Hitler' one more time and I am giving you a 2.

Mark Zuckerberg is Fidel Castro in flip-flops. Meowmeowbeenz is gonna make East Berlin look like Woodstock.

Professor Hickey

As long as you're happy...I'm unsettled.

Jeff

There already was a rating system in place, it was called 'Cool People Get More,' and it was working fine.

Jeff

Chang: Hey! Those guys in there told me that you're the one that died in a fire and you're a ghost!
Janitor: And you just believed 'em? You just believed a bunch of ghosts??

And you're going to pull a Dane Cook in one of those three movies he was in about Dane Cook getting laid by accident! Only, it's not a Dane Cook movie, Jeff, because this time, someone's watching.

Professor Duncan

She's everything I love about America--bold, opinionated, just past her peak, and starting to realize that she has to settle.

Professor Duncan

Community Quotes

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.

Jeff: You were born 21 years ago.
Troy: Which would make me 20, because everyone is 10 for two years. Because fifth grade is really hard for every...one. Mom how many lies have I been living!?