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Cougar-town

When I want to end it with a guy, I sleep with his best friend... or brother. Brothers are good because if the guy was hot, chances are the brother is too. Best friends are a crap shoot.

Laurie

Travis: Hey, Josh, let's make a real effort to wear shirts around each other, okay?
Josh: Sure, do you think your mom like me?
Travis: I just woke up dude

Ellie: You totally had sex last night
Jules: How'd you know
Ellie: I'm your best friend, I know these things, plus there's a condom wrapper on your back
Jules: Oh, is it just the one?
Ellie: Good god, Jules

Laurie: There's nothing in your purse except three hundred dollars
Jules: That's five hundred, that's my half of a stupid bet bobby bet
Laurie: No, this feels like three hundred. My brother sold pot for six years

Laurie: Hey Grayson, if you were at a BBQ playing drinking games with your buds would you chug a girls beer and hug her sweetly from behind without trying to cop a feel if you weren't in love with her?
Grayson: Please stop coming to my bar

I haven't drank out of a red plastic cup since my wedding reception

Jules

You think my butt looks like it could be your roommate's? We need to hug, wow

Jules
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