Simmons: Listen I'll pay cash and double the tip if you drive me to Dorchester. Name your price. The car I ordered is ten minutes away and I've got to get home.
Unsub: Get in.
Simmons: Man you just saved my life. You have no idea.

Bruner: Zimmer isn't responsible for the conduct of its drivers.
Lewis: And why is that?
Bruner: They're independent contractors.
Lewis: So if a driver were to kidnap me or get drunk and drive off a bridge with me sitting right next to him, you're claiming Zimmer's not responsible.
Bruner: A bit dramatic, but true. Zimmer is merely a technology platform that matches willing drivers and passengers.

Simmons: What are you doing?
Unsub: Of all the cars you've could have got into, you got into mine. Some might say that luck or fate brought us together. I like to think it was divine intervention.

You know what that self-righteous son of a bitch did? He molested little girls. But he's not going to be punished. He took the easy way out. He left a pathetic note! It is not FAIR! Sinners must be punished! Sinners like you!

Unsub

A man's very highest moment is, I have no doubt at all, when he kneels in the dust and beats his breast, and tells all the sins of his life - Oscar Wilde.

Hotch

Hotch: You want to go home?
Garcia: [nods, weeping]

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Cat: Tell me about me.
Reid: You? You're a Black Widow hit woman. You specialize in seduction and you're patient. You learn everything you can about the men you're hired to kill, physically, psychologically and emotionally, because you want them in as compromised a position as possible, so they don't see it coming when you pull the trigger.
Cat: And when I do it really well, they pull the trigger themselves.

Cat: Wait, he's going to bring a red rose, so we need to go to a nicer place, which is why I switched the restaurant at the last minute.
Reid: Not a problem at all.
Cat: And now I need to change and put something nice on for this place, because I was totally under-dressed and more whole wardrobe makes me look like a Kardashian...You don't know who that is, do you?
Reid: Yeah, no, Robert Kardashian. He got OJ Simpson off. You don't look like his daughter.
Cat: Yeah, no I was making a joke. A bad one.
Reid: No it was good. It was a good joke.
Cat: No it wasn't.
Reid: It was funny. [nervous laughter]

Cat: And keep in mind that the only reason you're not dead now is because I did learn something important.
Reid: Oh really? What's that?
Cat: Your backup. I flushed them out. It's just you and me now.
Lewis: Guess again, bitch.

Reid: Even when you first laid eyes on me, from the bar, from outside, from wherever you were, you should have seen through me, and kept on moving. But you didn't. You couldn't. Because you can't get to the man you really want to hurt so you need to hurt any man who reminds you of him.
Cat: That's kind of boiler-plate psychology, isn't it? I'm just another girl with daddy issues?
Reid: You'd be surprised how many killers do what they do because of their parents. If it's so boiler-plate, let's test the theory. How hard did you look for him?
Cat: Very hard.
Reid: How disappointed were you when you realized that you will never find him?

Cat: Tell me about your wife.
Reid: If you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about her.
Cat: Might as well get it out in the open, right? That's why we're here. How long have you been married?
Reid: Four years.

Cat: When is she due to give birth?
Reid: Couple of months. Should we talk about price now, or
Cat: Slow down, tiger. What exactly are we negotiating here?
Reid: You know.
Cat: I want to hear you say it.
Reid: To have her killed.

Criminal Minds Quotes

Reid: There's an old Buddhist saying that, when you meet your soulmate, remember that the act to bring you together was 500 years in the making. So always appreciate and be kind to each other.
Lewis: That's lovely.
Reid: There's a corollary for friends. When you meet a true friend, you will be bound together though space and time for 500 years.

Hotch: A sniper can wait up to 72 hours without sleeping.
Mays: Seriously?
Rossi: That's part of their training. They can stay awake for 72 hours and remain completely focused on their target.
Mays: How?
Hotch: By using a mental exercise called "fantasy integration". A sniper creates a scenarios involving a target that keeps that person at the forefront of their mind.
Morgan: Often they'll imagine a place where they're with the target, doing something together that takes time. For example, building a car.
JJ: For some, the fantasy begins the minute they're assigned a target. Then nothing will distract them.