Popular Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes
You know what Tabasco's good for? Keep ya hard, only you gotta stick it up your ass
Gil
Cheryl: I want to go home, now.
Larry: Maybe we could stop and pick up some Tabasco?
It doesn't really affect you, does it Larry, the glass on the floor? No, because you're wearing your fucking shoes in my house! When you walk through my door, you play by my rules! You take off your fucking shoes! You and your fucking little soccer shoes in my house!
Gil's Wife
Brian: Should you be going to the party with your back? Can you bend over? Can you bend with your back?
Larry: Yeah.
Brian: Well, then maybe you should bend over and kiss my ass, and maybe next time you'll remember to, uh, pick up the fucking golf ball
My wife jokingly refers to this as "The House that Cum Built"
Gil
Cheryl: Larry, please, it's fine. I don't know what you want me to say to you.
Larry: How about, "honey, I forgive you, would you like to have sex?"
Larry: Excuse me. sir, could you do me a favor? I'm going to dial a number. If a woman answers the phone, just hang up, and if a man answers, hand it back.
Man with Cellphone: Are you putting me on?
Larry: No.
Man with Cellphone: What is this about? What are you...
Larry: I hate my friend's girlfriend. I don't want to talk to her
[Women] can't just have sex with any man, they have to really love the man to get involved with their--with their penis, with their grotesque--with their grotesque penis
Larry
Richard: How can you not help a blind man?
Larry: How can you say "blind man" in front of a blind man?
Doctor: What's this?
Larry: A splint. My wife made it.
Doctor: A plastic knife? Were you at a picnic when you injured yourself?
Male Parking Attendant: "The bald guy with the glasses." That's you?
Larry: Unfortunately, that's me
Cheryl: Well, I think you should write a letter of apology to him.
Larry: "Dear prick, why are you such a prick?"
