Popular Curb Your Enthusiasm Quotes
Cheryl [referring to the caterer who stole their food]: You know, this is very unprofessional if you ask me.
Larry: It's completely unprofessional. And I know because my whole career's been based on being unprofessional
Caterer [regarding the leftovers]: Uhm, I'm really not sure that everything survived the trip here, so..
Larry: "Survived the trip here"? Where did you come from? The Sudan
Jeff: How did she die?
Larry: Killed herself.
Jeff: No, she didn't!
Larry: Killed herself!
Jeff: Why?
Larry: Why? Nobody knows, she didn't leave a note. That is so rude, isn't that?
Jeff: That is really rude
Larry: I need a letter of apology from your friend.
Jeff: Retraction, retraction!
Larry: Retraction? What are they going to say? "We're sorry we called her a cunt, we meant 'aunt.'"
Jeff: Do you know what 'Indian giving' is?
Larry: Yes, I know what it's called. It's a very racist term, but I'm okay with it
Nobody likes to fly. I don't even like to drive. And I don't like walking
Larry
Craig: How long were you and Cheryl dating before you got married?
Larry: Not that long, really. We were friends for a while, and after we had intercourse we got married very quickly
Larry: Your mother thinks I touched her breast? That is so sick!
Jeff: It's what she thinks. What can I say? Sweet dreams.
Larry: "Sweet dreams". I'll dream about fucking your mother. "Sweet dreams".
[My mom] said, "Larry felt my bosom, and held it there for several seconds"
Jeff
Richard: He's my dermatologist.
Larry: Really?
Richard: For 15 years now.
Larry: Even with the whole affirmative-action thing?
You sounded like, like, christ, Pat Buchanan's gym partner
Richard [about Larry's tasteless joke]
Cheryl: Well, I think you should write a letter of apology to him.
Larry: "Dear prick, why are you such a prick?"
