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Cheryl: I'm gonna call her.
Larry: What! You're gonna what?
Cheryl: He told you that he is fooling around with other women!
Larry: You're not gonna go call Wanda now!
Cheryl: Of course I am, she's engaged to him.
Larry: I don't care. He'll blame me! You know what he's gonna do? You ever heard his lyrics? "You betray me, you're gonna die?"

So you think you're going to cross me and mess with my shit?
Opening your fucking trap and flapping your lip?
Don't fuck with me, nigga, or you're gonna get dropped.
I'll snap off your neck with a crackle and pop.
If you say anything. you'll beg to die,
Cause I'll make you suck my dick, then I'll nut in your eye.
I'll stomp on your world as my name was Godzilla,
I'm coming for you, motherfucker, I'm your Krazee-Eyez-Killa


Krazee-Eyez: What's crackin', player?
Larry: How are you?
Krazee-Eyez: I'm alright, I'm alright. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just chilling. What's up?
Larry: Chillin'. Just chillin'.

(to Larry) Let me ask you something. You like eating the pussy?


You know me, I don't like to complain.


Susan: You going to thank me too?
Cheryl: And thank you Susan
Susan: You're welcome (looks to Larry)
Larry: What? Why do I have to thank you?
Susan: For dinner, that my husband and I treated you to.
Larry: Oh, I thought he treated me to it.
Susan: Stu pulled out the credit card and put it down, yes.
Larry: Yeah, so I thanked him
Susan: And he's using our money to pay for it, so you could thank us. We're taking you out to dinner.
Larry: Well, you could call it "our money," but just for the sake of discussion, he's the one who goes to work and earns the money. You don't work.

Jeff: So you have to decide between whether you want Daddy, or Oscar.
Sammy: Mmm...Oscar!
Jeff: No, no. Whay I'm saying is, that if you say Oscar, Daddy won't be here.
Sammy: I know.
Jeff: You know?
Sammy: (nodding) Mmhum
Jeff: But you're choosing Oscar. I'm your Dad.
Sammy: I just love that dog.

(seeing Stu taste wine) He's like an elephant sticking his head in a pond.


I'm surprised Hitler didn't round up the toupe people.


Larry: What do you say?
Braudy kids: Thank you!
Larry: You're welcome!
(Larry rubs Susan Braudy's nose in his refusal to thank her)

Bald Chef: You have to wear a hat if you're gonna be in a convertible, then you look like you're trying to hide something.
Larry: Well, that's what they do, these guys with the hats. Don't they?
Bald Chef: Yeah, Yeah!
Larry: They wear it all the time and they'll meet a girl or something, then they'll show up on a date. What are they gonna do? Are they gonna take the hat off? Wear it? They have a terrible decision.
Bald Chef: Right, then the girl is going to be like, "I didn't know you were bald."
Larry: Yeah, "You misrepresented yourself!"

Jeff: A dog! She chose a fucking dog over her own father.
Larry: You sat down and you laid it out?
Jeff: I talked to her. I told her, 'Daddy's sick. He can't stay in the same house with Oscar.' She wants Oscar! She wants the dog!
Larry: Calm down
Jeff: Where is the dog?!
Larry: They took him back to your house.
Jeff: My house? No, no, no, his house. His house. I'm at the W hotel. It's his house now.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 62 in total

Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 3 Quotes

I know they're temporaries, but temporaries aren't supposed to look like Chiclets.


Not one Spanish person has figured out that piata is a sick fucking game?