Favorite Desperate Housewives Quotes
We all have our reasons for rewriting history. Sometimes we need to provide ourselves alibis...(shot of Andrew talking with his friends) Sometimes we wanna hurt someone who has hurt us...(shot of Gaby with her lawyer talking on the phone) And then there are times we just wanna spare ourselves embarrassment... (shot of Lynette talking with other ladies about Parker living the team) Of course, there are some who feel that to rewrite history is just another way to lie... (shot of Howard's wife talking about her husband working late) But what is history anyway... (shot of Mike and Edie at the hospital) but a set of lies agreed upon?
Mary Alice
You mean the woman whose parents named her after cheese? I like my robots to be more life-like.
Gaby [on Bree]
What about those poor people who are trapped by circumstance? What happens to those who have no choices left?
Mary Alice
Gabrielle: If you ever hurt me again, I will kill you.
Carlos: If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you.
Gabrielle: Boy, with all this passion, isn't it a shame that we're not having sex?
Renee: I feel like you get me, Gaby. And you know why? Because we're both extremely beautiful.
Gaby: God bless you for having the courage to say that.
Renee: Only someone who looks like us can understand what a burden it can be.
Gaby: Actually, it's pretty awesome!
This is what rainy days are good for. They make everything clean again. Especially on a street like Wisteria Lane, where everything can get so messy.
Mary Alice
Mary Alice: (voiceover) Lynette Scavo had a dream that night. It was one she had many times before...
Lynette: Hey, Mary Alice! Are you okay?
Mary Alice: (reading the blackmail note) Yes, thank you. I'm fine.
Lynette: OK! I'll see you later.
Mary Alice: (voiceover)... but this night something changed.
Lynette: (walks towards her) No, you're not. I can tell. Please, tell me what's wrong. Let me save you.
Mary Alice: You can't.
Lynette: Why not?
Mary Alice: Sweetie, we can't prevent what we can't predict.
Lynette: Isn't there anything I can do?
Mary Alice: Yes, you can enjoy this beautiful day. We get so few of them.
(Lynette looks at the sky and smiles. But when she turns around, Mary Alice is gone.)
Mary Alice: (voiceover) This was the last time Lynette would ever dream of me. And for her sake, I'm grateful.
Gabrielle: Xiao-Mei, how did you rip your panties?
Xiao-Mei: I fall down.
This is the street where I used to live and these were the people with whom I shared my life. I met them the day they moved in. And I saw what they brought with them. Beautiful dreams for the future. And quiet hopes for a better life. Not just for themselves, but for their children, too. If I could, would I tell them what lies ahead? Would I warn them of the sorrow and betrayal that lie in store? No. From where I stand now, I see enough of the road to understand how it must be traveled. The trip is to keep moving forward, to let go of the fear and the regret that slow us down and keep us from enjoying a journey that will be over too soon. Yes, there will be unexpected bends in the road, shocking surprises we didn't see coming, but that's really the point. Don't you think?
Mary Alice
Rex: (narrating) Take a drive down any street in suburbia. Know what you're gonna see? A bunch of guys wearing the same expression. It's a look that says: Oh, crap. My dreams are never gonna come true. I'll never have a life free from scandal. I'll never have a son of my own. I'll never hold her in my arms again. I'll never get to tell her how I feel. Yeah, the suburbs are filledwith a lot of men who have given up hope. Of course, every once in a while you do come across some lucky SOB whose dreams have all come true. You know how you spot them? They're the ones who can't stop smiling. Don't you just hate those guys?
Edie's not a slut. She's just popular with indiscriminate men.
Susan
Bree: Perception is reality, Andrew. And if people perceive me to have a drinking problem, then I do. And I certainly don't want some idiotic judge using my hobby as an excuse to make you rich. So I'm simply going to give up my wine and become a recovering alcoholic.
Andrew: Good plan, but it'll never work. See, I'll bet you still end up coming to court hammered.
Bree: Oh, Andrew, you don't think I love you enough to give up alcohol?
Andrew: Look, I'm seventeen, all right? So, you can only keep me here for another year. Why not just let me go?
Bree: Because I'm not done with you yet. It's my job to teach you and you are not half the man I know you can be.
Andrew: Yeah, well, I got news for you. This is as good as I'm gonna get.
Bree: If I really thought that, I'd get a gun right now and kill us both.
