Favorite Desperate Housewives Quotes
Gabrielle: So just to be clear, some slutty cheerleader gets knocked up by the soccer coach behind the local gas 'n gulp, and she is going to make sure we're quality people?
Carlos: You don't need to answer that.
Temptation comes to all of us. Whether we succumb to it or not depends on our ability to recongnize it's disguise. Sometimes it comes in the form of an old flame, flickering back to life. (Shot of Susan sitting by her fireplace, touching her lips) Or a new friend, who can be so much more (Shot of Peter helping Bree sober up with coffee) Or a young child who awakens feelings we didn't know we had. And so we give in to temptation, all the while knowing come morning, we'll have to suffer the consequences. (Shot of Gabrielle and Carlos at their home. Gabby is holding the baby, while Carlos is looking out the window)
Mary Alice
So you're just not gonna talk to me, is that it? Fine. I don't need to talk. Okay. Yes, I had a little affair. It wasn't the best thing to do, and I'm not proud of it. But it's not the worst thing that could have happened. Nobody died. Oh, don't be such a martyr, Carlos. Okay, it takes two people. How many times did you go off on your little business trips and leave me alone? See, so technically, you cheated, too. It's just your mistress was your work.
Gabrielle
Phyllis: (talking about Rex) I even kept the dirty magazine that he hid under his mattress. He didn't think I knew about it, but I did.
Andrew: Well, looks like dad was into big breasts.
Phyllis: Oh, yes. That's why I was surprised when he married your mother.
Gabrielle: I don't understand. How could you not know you're Mexican? We eat Mexican food all the time!
Juanita: We eat Chinese food, too. Does that mean I'm Chinese?
Carlos: No, that just means your mother hates to cook.
Susan: You fantasize about other men when you're with Carlos?
Gabrielle: Honey, Carlos has been so many different men, I'm actually surprised when I open my eyes and it's Carlos.
Lawyer: "To my dearest Susie Q. Who endured my infidelities far longer than she should have, years of cheating, betrayals almost from the day we were married...
Susan: Can we just skip to the part where I get stuff?
Susan: Well, I don't mean to be technical here, but this show, I mean, it really is supposed to be a family thing, and I hate to point out you're not family.
Edie: No, but I have talent, and to most audiences, talent trumps family.
Ed: At least you and Tom have a love life.
Lynette: Well, we do the best we can given the circumstances.
Ed: Better than Fran and I. We're dead in that department. Ah, no, I don't wanna bore you with details.
Lynette: I appreciate that. You know, Ed. I don't want to pry into your personal business, but if you are having problems in that area, you don't have to be resigned to it.
Ed: What are you suggesting, hookers? No, Ed Ferrara doesn't pay for sex.
Dale: I got kinda held up in Florida longer than I thought.
Carlos: Spring break, right?
Dale: Yeah. Oh man, we were wasted twenty-four seven! Then I got the message and I just thought my friends were messin' with me. Those buttwads!
Carlos: Damn it!
Gabrielle: Whatever it is, I can explain.
When I was alive, I maintained many different identities. Lover, wife, and ultimately, victim. Yes, labels are important to the living. They dictate how people see themselves, like my friend Lynette. She used to see herself as a career woman, and a hugely successful one at that. She was known for her power lunches, her eye-catching presentations and her ruthlessness in wiping out the competition. But Lynette gave up her career to assume a new label, the incredibly satisfying role of full-time mother. But, unfortunately for Lynette, this new label frequently fell short of what was advertised
Mary Alice
