Favorite Desperate Housewives Quotes
Cameras are simple tools designed to capture images. Images that tell us more about ourselves than we realize. They remind us of the long journey we've taken. The loved ones who traveled alongside of us. Those we lost along the way. And those waiting for us on the road ahead.
Mary Alice
For God's sake Phyllis, don't you ever worry about dehydration?
Bree (<i>to sobbing Phyllis</i>)
Let's cut this bitch open!
Dr. Ron
Phyllis: (talking about Rex) I even kept the dirty magazine that he hid under his mattress. He didn't think I knew about it, but I did.
Andrew: Well, looks like dad was into big breasts.
Phyllis: Oh, yes. That's why I was surprised when he married your mother.
Control. It's extraordinary the tactics people employ to obtain it. Some rely on deception. While others engage in outright trickery. Then there are those who resort to extortion. Why do we fight so hard for control? Because we know to lose it is to put our fate in the hands of others. And what could be more dangerous?
Mary Alice
Mary Alice: The remarkable thing about Danny Farrell was that he had only been a paperboy for six months. And in that time, he had become the enemy of every woman on Wisteria Lane. If there was a puddle on someone's property, he found it. If a new rosebush had just been planted, he destroyed it. If a cat was enjoying a moment in the sun, he ended it. People wondered if Danny would ever change. They should have talked to Susan Mayer. She could have told them: obnoxious boys tend to become obnoxious men. Just like the one she had been married to. Yes, the women of Wisteria Lane believe Danny Farrell to be the enemy. They also believed the enemy of my enemy is my friend.
So you're just not gonna talk to me, is that it? Fine. I don't need to talk. Okay. Yes, I had a little affair. It wasn't the best thing to do, and I'm not proud of it. But it's not the worst thing that could have happened. Nobody died. Oh, don't be such a martyr, Carlos. Okay, it takes two people. How many times did you go off on your little business trips and leave me alone? See, so technically, you cheated, too. It's just your mistress was your work.
Gabrielle
Susan: Thank you so much for helping me out.
Orson: Hey, I'm great in a crisis.
Susan: Well, I definitely picked the right person to sit next to, actually, is this seat taken?
Orson: No.
Susan: Okay. You can share my popcorn.
(A lady sits next to Orson)
Orson: Um Susan, this is Becky, I'll probably be sharing her popcorn.
Susan: I'll just wait till the lights go out, and then I'll go.
Karl: You're supposed to be catering a wedding.
Bree: Yes, clearly this is my fault. (the woman raises up) Courtney?
Courtney: I'm so sorry, Bree.
Bree: Really, Karl, my yoga instructor?
Courtney: No charge for next month, okay?
Bree: Like I'm keeping you! Get the hell out of my house.
Karl: She... she's going.
Bree: I'm not talking to her!
Susan: You fantasize about other men when you're with Carlos?
Gabrielle: Honey, Carlos has been so many different men, I'm actually surprised when I open my eyes and it's Carlos.
Tom: It'll be ok, I'm looking for a job, and in the meantime we've got enough money to live on for the next... four months.
Lynette: So we'll run out right before the babies are born.
Tom: Yes. But remember, kids never miss what they never had.
Lynette: Ah, like food, clothing, a sober mother.
Carlos: Damn it!
Gabrielle: Whatever it is, I can explain.
