Since we caught Bin Laden, we can stroll on the plane anytime we want.

Gaby

Robber: Get out!
Bree: What?!
Robber: I'm taking your car.
Bree: Oh my God, I could kiss you.

Gaby: I'm worried about you. First, you stop talking to your friends. Now, you're wiggin' out at a rat funeral. You're making me nervous.
Susan: Well, I'm sorry I'm not handling accessory to murder as well as the rest of you.

Priest: Nuts, I was really hoping this would be a good one.
Gaby: I made out with two chicks once in college.
Priest: This job rocks.

What's your guess? Wonky eye? Rabbit teeth? Comb over? One normal eyebrow? One really big one? Baby hands? I had it all in one guy... did not end well.

Renee

Chuck: Don't take this the wrong way, but you could do this professionally.
Bree: Coming from a man who's on a first name basis with half the hookers in Fairview, that's quite a compliment to take, Detective.

We're not criminals. We drive carpool.

Susan

Desperate Housewives Season 8 Episode 1 Quotes

Chuck: Don't take this the wrong way, but you could do this professionally.
Bree: Coming from a man who's on a first name basis with half the hookers in Fairview, that's quite a compliment to take, Detective.

We're not criminals. We drive carpool.

Susan