Desperate Housewives Season 2 Quotes
Mom, you're hot, and funny, and nice, and clearly desperate - and guys are into that. Play to your strengths.
Julie
Lynette: It's not the Ebola virus, it's chicken pox! You are being a baby!
Tom: Yes, I am, and if you think I'm being a baby now, do I need to remind you what I'm like when I'm sick? Remember that time I had strep throat? We wound up in marriage counselling.
Lynette: I'll call the office.
Tom: Thanks, honey.
On behalf of cheerleaders everywhere... (She grabs Tom and kisses him)
Gabrielle
Matthew: Are you worried yet? Cause I am.
Betty: Not yet, just be patient, see what happens.
(Edie, Bree, Susan and Gaby look over at Betty and Matthew standing on the porch. Betty smiles and waves, and they wave back)
Betty: Now I'm worried.
(Lynette comes home from the supermarket suspiscious of Tom and Gabrielle)
Tom: Did you get the bread?
Lynette: They were out.
Tom: Of bread?
Lynette: Are you drunk?
Tom: I'm a hot guy living in a neighborhood of lonely ladies!
My son is trying to blackmail me, and I would like you to stop the little S.O.B.
Bree
Bree: (after seeing her son kiss his boyfriend outside) Get over here. Now!
Andrew: Somebody's angry. Did one of your souffls fall?
Bree: I saw what you did with your friend.
Andrew: Oh! And you didn't turn into a pillar of salt? Good for you.
Bree: This is not a joke, Andrew. What if the neighbors had seen you?
Andrew: Oh, I'd hope they'd think that I landed a hottie.
Edie: What do you guys think about the Applewhites?
Susan: I like 'em, very nice, very...
Bree: Interesting.
Susan: Right! Interesting!
Edie: Hmm, they weird me out too.
Bree: Okay, first of all I want you to march back upstairs and tell your friend he is no longer welcome in this house!
Andrew: But we haven't even had breakfast yet.
Andrew: I wonder how they'll react when they find out you killed George Williams.
Bree: I didn't kill George!
Andrew: Well, no, but you sat there and let him die, which ,I'm no lawyer but I'm pretty sure there's a crime in there somewhere.
Andrew: When the cops get here, my official position will be "Oh, my god, I'm being raised by a homicidal maniac!" I think I might even throw in a few tears.
Bree: You would actually let the police arrest your own mother?
Andrew: Hey, we all gotta cut the apron strings at some point.
