Nick: For what it’s worth, I am so sorry.
Evelyn: After all these years, it’s worth nothing at all.

Adrian: I think of Valentina as a daughter.
Evelyn: Oedipus would be proud.

If I want to hear a sexy accent, I can talk to myself.


Adrian: I keep wondering how in God’s name we manage to outlast so many other couples. I think it’s our sense of humor.
Evelyn: Oh, I was going to credit our high tolerance of adultery or perversion.

Zoila: Marriage is exciting, isn’t it?
Marisol: Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I have to go turn my husband into the police.

I let you get away from me once. I can’t let that happen again.


I don’t want to die, not while I still look this good.


Don’t go Catholic on me because I will call the Pope and tell him about Javier.


You call him Carmen. I call him Diablo.


Where’s his cage? The thing you keep children in so they can’t get away.


Adrian: Oh yes, I’m very skeevy.
Genevieve: Well, it was a long time ago. I’m willing to forgive you.
Adrian: That seems misguided.

You and I were meant to tango.


Devious Maids Quotes

"I don't care about photos. I don't care about evidence. My maid was murdered! Who's going to clean it up?


"I think what you people do is heroic. You wash clothes you can't afford. You polish silver you will never dine with. You mop floors for people who don't bother to learn your last names, and still you dare to dream of a better life. I am in awe of your determination to succeed in this great country of ours. That said, if you don't stop screwing my husband, I'm going to have you deported. Comprende?"