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Nick: For what it’s worth, I am so sorry.
Evelyn: After all these years, it’s worth nothing at all.

Adrian: I think of Valentina as a daughter.
Evelyn: Oedipus would be proud.

If I want to hear a sexy accent, I can talk to myself.


Adrian: I keep wondering how in God’s name we manage to outlast so many other couples. I think it’s our sense of humor.
Evelyn: Oh, I was going to credit our high tolerance of adultery or perversion.

Zoila: Marriage is exciting, isn’t it?
Marisol: Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I have to go turn my husband into the police.

I let you get away from me once. I can’t let that happen again.


I don’t want to die, not while I still look this good.


Don’t go Catholic on me because I will call the Pope and tell him about Javier.


You call him Carmen. I call him Diablo.

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