He's absolute adorable and so what if he's gay.

Genevieve

I've always been a lush and you know it.

Evelyn

Is that how your mother does it?

Zoila

You see my husband, a horse's ass named Adrian.

Evelyn

I always like it when I don't have the worst idea.

Marisol

And let's be honest, no one is ever going to choose you.

Fabian

You're like a feral cat, who's also drunk.

Evelyn

I wrote it in my calendar last year after your struck me with a dust buster when I didn't.

Adrian

I wasn't a ho. I was popular.

Carmen

I do enjoy belittling people. It really is my best thing

Evelyn

But if it shows up you can take your shirt off again and come get it.

Zoila

Are you sure it's not a brain tumor?

Spence

Devious Maids Quotes

"I don't care about photos. I don't care about evidence. My maid was murdered! Who's going to clean it up?

Evelyn

"I think what you people do is heroic. You wash clothes you can't afford. You polish silver you will never dine with. You mop floors for people who don't bother to learn your last names, and still you dare to dream of a better life. I am in awe of your determination to succeed in this great country of ours. That said, if you don't stop screwing my husband, I'm going to have you deported. Comprende?"

Evelyn