Devious Maids

Sundays 10:00 PM on Lifetime
Devious maids
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It's ironic. My life sucks, but my vacuum doesn't.

Evelyn

This rug is worth $100,000. If you ruin it, I will personally see that you end up in the public school system.

Evelyn

I'm not going to hold you. I'm wearing silk and you are moist.

Evelyn

Please stop. I just took a Valium and you are ruining it.

Evelyn

Oh, the things I've seen today. I'm going to have to go to confession twice this week.

Rosie

How can I be terrified of conflict? I'm married to you.

Spence

Is there a nice way to tell your boss he's deformed?

Carmen

I can't afford a scandal right now. I'm in negotiations with Paramount.

Peri

Are you sure you're gay because I could jump your bones right now?
 

Carmen

Evelyn: Who were you dreaming of?
Adrian: Who do you think?
Evelyn: I'm so glad she's dead.

You'll be the belle of the balls... ball.

Carmen

"I think what you people do is heroic. You wash clothes you can't afford. You polish silver you will never dine with. You mop floors for people who don't bother to learn your last names, and still you dare to dream of a better life. I am in awe of your determination to succeed in this great country of ours. That said, if you don't stop screwing my husband, I'm going to have you deported. Comprende?"

Evelyn
Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 84 in total

Devious Maids Quotes

"I don't care about photos. I don't care about evidence. My maid was murdered! Who's going to clean it up?

Evelyn

"I think what you people do is heroic. You wash clothes you can't afford. You polish silver you will never dine with. You mop floors for people who don't bother to learn your last names, and still you dare to dream of a better life. I am in awe of your determination to succeed in this great country of ours. That said, if you don't stop screwing my husband, I'm going to have you deported. Comprende?"

Evelyn