Bill: Where are you going?!
The Doctor: It’s a giant smiley abattoir over there, and I’ve a very childish impulse to BLOW IT UP! Be right back!

• Permalink: It’s a giant smiley abattoir over there, and I’ve a very childish impulse to BLOW IT UP! Be...
• Added: April 23, 2017

The Doctor: Okay. I suppose I owe you an explanation. A long time ago, a thing happened. As a result of the thing, I made a promise. As a result of the promise, I have to stay on Earth.
Bill: Guarding a vault.
The Doctor: Guarding a vault!
Bill: Well, you’re not guarding the vault right now.
The Doctor: Yes, I am! I have a time machine! I can be back before we left!

• Permalink: Yes, I am! I have a time machine! I can be back before we left!
• Added: April 23, 2017

Bill: So. Back up to your office for a cuppa, then?
The Doctor: Between here and my office, before the kettle boils, is everything that ever happened or ever will!

• Permalink: Between here and my office, before the kettle boils, is everything that ever happened or ever...
• Added: April 23, 2017

Nardole [sees Bill]: Why is she here?
The Doctor: Because she isn’t anywhere else.

• Permalink: Because she isn’t anywhere else.
• Added: April 23, 2017

Nardole: Excuse me? What *is* the TARDIS doing down here?
The Doctor: I’m over two thousand years old. I don’t always want to take the stairs.

• Permalink: I’m over two thousand years old. I don’t always want to take the stairs.
• Added: April 23, 2017

You don’t “steer” the TARDIS! You *negotiate* with her! The still point between where you want to go and where you need to be. That’s where she takes you.

The Doctor

• Permalink: You don’t “steer” the TARDIS! You *negotiate* with her! The still point between where you...
• Added: April 23, 2017

I’m not stupid, you know. You don’t think anyone’s seen a movie? I know what a *mind wipe* looks like!

Bill

• Permalink: I’m not stupid, you know. You don’t think anyone’s seen a movie? I know what a *mind wipe*...
• Added: April 16, 2017

Bill: What changed your mind?
The Doctor: Time.
Bill: Time?
The Doctor: And Relative Dimension In Space. It means, “What the hell?”.

• Permalink: And Relative Dimension In Space. It means, “What the hell?”.
• Added: April 16, 2017

Hunger looks very much like evil from the other end of the cutlery. Do you think your bacon sandwich loves you back?

The Doctor

• Permalink: Hunger looks very much like evil from the other end of the cutlery. Do you think your bacon...
• Added: April 16, 2017

Bill: Doesn’t make sense then!
The Doctor: What doesn’t?
Bill: “TARDIS”! If you’re from another planet, why would you name the box in English? Those initials wouldn’t *work* in any other language!
The Doctor: People don’t generally bring *that* up.

• Permalink: People don’t generally bring *that* up.
• Added: April 16, 2017

Nardole [about the TARDIS]: First, you have to imagine a very big box fitting inside a very small box.
Bill: Okay!
Nardole: Then, you have to *make* one! [beat] It’s the second part people normally get stuck on.

• Permalink: Then, you have to *make* one! It’s the second part people normally get stuck on.
• Added: April 16, 2017

The Doctor: This is the gateway to everything that ever was and ever can be.
Bill: ...Can I use the toilet?

• Permalink: ...Can I use the toilet?
• Added: April 16, 2017