Thursdays 10:00 PM on CBS
Elementary

Holmes: Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?
Watson: I don't hate my job.
Holmes: You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.

Holmes: Are you saying he is in police custody?
Captain: Technically yeah, he's all ours [looks down at dead body].

Watson: You wanted to be the one that found him.
Holmes: I don't do what I do for the credit.
Watson: Then why do you do it?

Watson: I notice you don't have any mirrors around here.
Holmes: What is that supposed to mean?
Watson: That you know a lost cause when you see one.

You loaded him like a weapon and pointed him at your wife.

Watson

Watson. OH MY GOD, WHAT THE HELL?!?! Ty I'm going to have to call you back.
Sherlock: You're right about a stress relief, I felt like Jimi Hendrix for a second there.
Watson: You didn't have to do that?
Sherlock: Ty, funny name that, noun, verb, nationality, food.

Watson: She really got you, huh?
Sherlock: Lefty caught me by surprise. This one, leathery from slaps. This one's a baby's bottom.

You listened. You let someone else's scattering penetrate that attic you call a skull and you helped catch a killer.

Watson

Watson: Do you close yourself off to people, deny yourself things that might bring you pleasure? Not because it makes you a better investigator but because it's some sort of penance?
Sherlock: Penitence?
Watson: For what happened in London? Being addicted? I don't know, it just occurred to me that it might something someone would do and not even know it.
Sherlock: You always know it, Watson. If you didn't, it wouldn't be penance.

For future reference. When I say I agree with you, it means I'm not listening.

Sherlock

Watson: So what now? We go back to the Castillo house and talk to the parents more?
Sherlock: You're doing it again - talking.
Watson: What? I'm not supposed to talk?
Sherlock: Situations like these cases require my total concentration. I talk to you, never the other way around.

Watson: How do you do it, guess things?
Sherlock: I observe and then I deduce.
Watson: How did you know I was a doctor, you said you could tell from my hands.
Sherlock: Hand, singular. It was soft no calluses.
Watson: How did you know my father had an affair?
Sherlock: Google. Not everything is deducible.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 253 in total

Elementary Quotes

Holmes: Why do you suppose you hate your job so much?
Watson: I don't hate my job.
Holmes: You have two alarm clocks. No one with two alarm clocks loves their job. Two alarm clocks mean it's a chore for you to get up in the morning.

Watson: How do you do it, guess things?
Sherlock: I observe and then I deduce.
Watson: How did you know I was a doctor, you said you could tell from my hands.
Sherlock: Hand, singular. It was soft no calluses.
Watson: How did you know my father had an affair?
Sherlock: Google. Not everything is deducible.

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