Season 2, Episode 5: " The Humanitarian"
J.J.: I'm a swimmer. I don't put alcohol or drugs in my body.Eli: Absolutely. I was a mathlete. We had a similar ethos.
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Frank: Be careful, Eli. Going against the visions.. .it's risky.
Eli: Yeah? Well, if God wanted a puppet for a prophet, he should've chosen an accountant.
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Keith: But I think it's best if we go with someone outside the office with this. So, uh, I'll give my old colleague Danny Meyer a call.
Patti: And this Danny character--where does he live?
Keith: I don't know. What's it matter?
Patti: I need to know I can track him down and kick him in the cojones if he messes this up.
Keith: And that's why I'm not the guy to help you with this.
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Eli: Posner & Klein can kiss my hundred-grand-a-week retainer ass!
Jordan: Whoa!
Eli: That's how we do things downtown! Sorry.
Jordan: Quite all right. If I were more prone to outbursts of emotions, I'd probably be doing a little jig.
Eli: That I would pay real money to see.
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Eli: As you pointed out, sir, some of our people are in contact with their people, so some cross-pollination is bound to occur.
Taylor: I'm not pollinating anything with Matt.
Eli: I didn't say you were. I was just trying to imply that you are pillow-talking our business plan with him.
Taylor: I am not the leak, Eli, and to prove it, I'm gonna found out who it is. Happy?
Eli: Ecstatic
Jordan: Your management skills are as deft as ever.
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Season 2, Episode 4: "Should I Stay or Should I Go?"
Jordan: Eli, I understand you have a special affection for Ms. Dekker.Eli: Why does everyone keep saying that?
Taylor: You're kidding, right?
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Eli: Patti, you know that box you've been keeping for me with all the faxes and letters from potential clients?
Patti: You mean the wackadoo file?
Eli: I mean the box with all the fascinating complex legal dilemmas that could one day end up in the Supreme Court.
Patti: Well what I have is a box full of cases from the nutballs that saw you on the news--the wackadoo file?
Eli: Could I just have it?
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Taylor: He just needs a gentle push.
Eli: Well, he's your boyfriend, Taylor. Did you try the red nightie thing? That certainly convinced me to... uh, that's inappropriate. Noted.
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Eli: You're the best, Patti.
Patti: I assume that'll be reflected in my Christmas bonus?
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Patti: Can you believe how easily people are bought?
Eli: The exodus has begun.
Patti: Only the morally bankrupt and weak-minded. No one liked your wife's banana bread. We only ate it to be polite!
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Total Quotes: 75
