Favorite Eli Stone Quotes
Patti: Objection! Condescending.
Eli: It was not!
Patti: I have been a legal secretary ever since you were an itch in your daddy's pants. I know an objectionable question when I hear one.
Dr. Chen: Lie down.
Eli: Is it needle time? I love needle time.
Dr. Chen: You're never allowed to call it needle time again.
Eli: (pointing to George Michael) Brad, do you know who this is?
Brad: Yes, Bono!
Eli: What was the song again?
George Michael: I Want Your Sex.
Eli: Sorry, you're not my type. (chuckles) It's a joke.
Eli: If you don't mind me asking, why me? Why did you come to me?
George Michael: Well, you might think I'm the odd one now. But (brief pause) the other night I had a dream, and in the dream I was completely lost when someone told me I needed to find a lawyer. (pauses) Named Eli Stone.
Eli: Sir, you're unusually quiet. Are you feeling okay? (touches Jordan's sleeve)
Jordan: I feel fine. Don't ever touch me again.
Eli: Two months ago, I cared about winning my cases. But now I care about helping my clients.
Ms. Raines: And how much help can you be to them if you die in the middle of their case?
Eli: Well probably not that much...
I'm a lawyer, I look for loopholes.
Jordan
Eli: Patti, do you notice something strange about Maggie?
Patti: I don't notice anything other than strange about that girl.
Maggie: Did you ask me to work on this case with you so you wouldn't have to work on it with Matt?
Taylor: If I answer "no," would that prevent you from ever uttering a word of this to Eli?
(to Eli) Don't say it. You even start to say "I told you so" and I am violating my Hippocratic Oath on your jaw.
Nate
Dr. Chen: (in Chinese accent) You always show up, no appointment! Dr. Chen not Jiffy Lube! Come back Friday.
Eli: I went to the doctor, the real kind. You wouldn't, uh, happen to have any needles for an inoperable brain aneurysm I inherited from my alcoholic father who I wrongly hated for 20 years?
Dr. Chen: (Chinese accent completely gone) Oh wow, that totally blows, bro.
