Family Guy

Family Guy "A Hero Sits Next Door" Quotes

Lois: Meg, you're a sweet, beautiful girl, he'll come around.
Meg: That's such a mom answer.
Lois: Well, have you tried showing him the goods? How's that for a mom answer?
Meg: Creepy
 • Rating: Unrated

Joe: I just suggested a line of handicapable toys - ya know, to show the kids the fun of being physically challenged
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: You're not supposed to admire wheelchair people. You're supposed to feel sorry for them
 • Rating: Unrated

Lois: They might be very nice people.
Peter: Very nice people, yeah that's what they always say. Then you open up the septic tank and BAM, skeleton city
 • Rating: Unrated

Mr. Weed: Unfortunately, Johnson isn't here to pitch today, his wife is in labor.
Peter: Oh what, is the baby coming out of him? Jeez, I'll pitch
 • Rating: Unrated

Joe: Say, do you have a screwdriver I can borrow?
Peter: Man, you neighbors are like viruses, starts with a screwdriver, then before you know it you're using my supermarket, dry cleaner, even my postman
 • Rating: Unrated

Peter: Boy, I got myself into a real situation, didn't I? But don't worry, I've got a plan to get us out of this!
Brian: Oh, good, I was afraid you were just going to improvise.
Peter: Oh, well actually I was gonna use the little girl as a human shield and run like hell! But uh, yeah, improvise. That'll be easier on my back
 • Rating: Unrated

Bonnie: The movers tracked grease all over my carpet. I tried everything to get the stain out.
Lois: What about lemon juice?
Bonnie: Oh, what about club soda?
Stewie: What about shutting the hell up?
 • Rating: Unrated

Old Woman: Help! Someone just stole my purse!
Peter: Who cares, I don't even know you
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Meg: Mom, what do you do when you like a boy, but he doesn't even notice you?
Chris: Meg loves Kevin!
Meg: Shut up, you big sack of dog vomit!
 • Rating: Unrated

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