Family Guy

Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX
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Joe: All right, we're gonna do it once more!
(everyone else groans in agony)
Joe: And this time, NO MISTAKES! ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!
(Cleveland begins playing the piano, while the others dance)
Peter, Joe and Quagmire: (singing) Good mornin', good mornin'!
Cleveland: It's great to stay up late!
Peter, Joe and Quagmire: Good mornin', good mornin', to you!
Peter: When the band began to play,
The stars were shinin' bright!
Quagmire: But now the milkman's on his way.
It's too late to say good night!
Joe: (screaming at Quagmire) SO SAY GOOD MORNIN'!!!!!!
Quagmire: AHH! (starts sobbing) Good mornin'!
(everyone continues dancing)
Sunbeams will soon smile through.
Peter, Joe and Quagmire: Good mornin', good mornin', to you!
(the song ends, but Stewie pops out from behind the couch and continues by himself)
Stewie: Nothin' could be grander than to be in Louisiana!
In the mornin', in the mor- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were still going.

Bonnie: Joe, can't we talk about this?
Joe: There's nothing to talk about. I've outgrown you, Bonnie. I need to spread my legs and fly.

Cleveland: Wow, thanks, Spider-Man!
Spider-Man: Everybody gets one. (to Peter) Tell 'em, Peter.
Peter: (to Cleveland) Uh, apparently, everybody gets one.
Spider-Man: Bingo! (shoots web string and swings off)

Peter: We need to take care of Joe. It's the right thing to do, just like taking out Hitler. (Scene cuts to Adolf Hitler on a unicycle, juggling fish. Peter walks in knocks him down and punches him.)
Peter: (Referring to an earlier scene) You see? We had a plan for that all along.

Peter: ...besides we're not hurting anybody.
Lois: What are you talking about?! You ripped a whole chunk of wall out of the house.
(Stewie looking out forlornly from the open wall of his room)
Stewie: What is this?! There's something wrong with the house... I don't like change.

(Peter, Joe, Cleveland, and Quagmire are in the Drunken Clam)
Peter: Hey, check it out you guys. I got a new cell phone that takes pictures. Look, look, I took a picture of Lois' poo.
(they all laugh)
Quagmire: Oh, that's hilarious. You should email that to me.

(Joe introduces his new friends)
Joe: I'm taking my new friends. This is Parker, Quentin, and Portland.
Cleveland: Is Portland the black one?
Joe: Portland is the black one.

(Bonnie and Joe are in bed)
Bonnie: Oh Joe, that was amazing.
Joe: I know, I was there.
Bonnie: My god, we haven't done it in so long, I'd forgotten how big you were.
Joe: I was going to say the same thing to you.
(Bonnie looks surprised)

Dr. Hartman: I'm sorry Mayor McCheese, but I'm not sure if any cosmetic surgery is even possible.
Mayor McCheese: Look, if it's a financial issue...
Dr. Hartman: Well it's not an issue of money, your head is a cheeseburger. There is no blood flow to it, it's just dead cow meat.
Mayor McCheese: Alright, well, I appreciate you giving it to me straight.
Dr. Hartman: Alright then, have a tasty afternoon.
Mayor McCheese: (laughs slighly)
Dr. Hartman: Ah, there's a smile.

Quagmire: Alright Peter, this is a tough one. Alright, you ready for this? Okay, would you have sex with Cleveland, if it meant you could have sex with Angelina Jolie?
Peter: Uhhh, yeah, yeah I'd probably do it.
Quagmire: Hang on, hang on. Missionary, and you have to look him in the eye. No closing your eyes and pretending it's somebody else.
Peter: (Pauses) I think still, yes.
Cleveland: Thank you Peter.

Displaying all 10 quotes

Family Guy Season 6 Episode 3 Quotes

Bonnie: Joe, can't we talk about this?
Joe: There's nothing to talk about. I've outgrown you, Bonnie. I need to spread my legs and fly.

Joe: All right, we're gonna do it once more!
(everyone else groans in agony)
Joe: And this time, NO MISTAKES! ONE-TWO-THREE-FOUR!
(Cleveland begins playing the piano, while the others dance)
Peter, Joe and Quagmire: (singing) Good mornin', good mornin'!
Cleveland: It's great to stay up late!
Peter, Joe and Quagmire: Good mornin', good mornin', to you!
Peter: When the band began to play,
The stars were shinin' bright!
Quagmire: But now the milkman's on his way.
It's too late to say good night!
Joe: (screaming at Quagmire) SO SAY GOOD MORNIN'!!!!!!
Quagmire: AHH! (starts sobbing) Good mornin'!
(everyone continues dancing)
Sunbeams will soon smile through.
Peter, Joe and Quagmire: Good mornin', good mornin', to you!
(the song ends, but Stewie pops out from behind the couch and continues by himself)
Stewie: Nothin' could be grander than to be in Louisiana!
In the mornin', in the mor- Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were still going.