Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX

This is the worst use of money since I tricked out my Big Wheel.


Lois: Peter, you're really are putting away those Mentos.
Peter: Oh, these aren't Mentos, Lois. Everybody, you are looking at a guy who is going to set a new world record. I am going to eat more nickels than anyone has ever eaten before

Tom: We go live with the local blind man. Sir, how did you suddenly summon the courage to save your friend from that burning building?
Peter: That freaking place was on fire?!
Tom: And there you have it. Coming up next, "Watch me shave."

Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Either have the baby or don't


In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness World Record for "Most Drugs Ever Done by a Single Human Being" died today; he was attacked by a pack of wild dogs he thought he saw.

Tom Tucker

Hey, ya ever watch that show Scrubs? Yeah Lois had it on the other night, I was fading in and out, but I was wondering, which one's the funny guy?

Peter [To Horace]
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