This is the worst use of money since I tricked out my Big Wheel.

Stewie

• Permalink: This is the worst use of money since I tricked out my Big Wheel.
• Added: October 22, 2009

Lois: Peter, you're really are putting away those Mentos.
Peter: Oh, these aren't Mentos, Lois. Everybody, you are looking at a guy who is going to set a new world record. I am going to eat more nickels than anyone has ever eaten before

• Permalink: Peter, you're really are putting away those Mentos. Oh, these...
• Added: October 22, 2009

Tom: We go live with the local blind man. Sir, how did you suddenly summon the courage to save your friend from that burning building?
Peter: That freaking place was on fire?!
Tom: And there you have it. Coming up next, "Watch me shave."

• Permalink: We go live with the local blind man. Sir, how did you suddenly s...
• Added: October 22, 2009

Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six years, all right. Either have the baby or don't

Peter

• Permalink: Okay, first of all, Bonnie, you've been pregnant for like six ye...
• Added: October 22, 2009

In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness World Record for "Most Drugs Ever Done by a Single Human Being" died today; he was attacked by a pack of wild dogs he thought he saw.

Tom Tucker

• Permalink: In sadder news, the man who held the Guinness World Record for M...
• Added: October 22, 2009

Hey, ya ever watch that show Scrubs? Yeah Lois had it on the other night, I was fading in and out, but I was wondering, which one's the funny guy?

Peter [To Horace]

• Permalink: Hey, ya ever watch that show Scrubs? Yeah Lois had it on the oth...
• Added: October 22, 2009