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Family-guy

Stewie: What the hell is this?
Lois: Sweetie, that's tuna salad.
Stewie: Oh, is that what it is? Really? Because I could have sworn it was mayonnaise and cat food

Lois: This could be a great chance for you two to bond.
Peter: Bond? James Bond. I'll do it

Chris [on the phone]: So, ah, what are you wearing? Wow. I bet you could see right through that.
Lois: Chris, who you talking to?
Chris: Grandma

Lois: It's Stewie. He peed on the carpet.
Peter: Do I... Do I hit him?
Lois: No!

Dr. Kaplan: I'd like to pat you Brian. Would that be okay? You're a good dog, Brian. A very good dog.
Brian: Keep it above the waist, Doc

Tom: And now part two of our very own Asian correspondent, Tricia Takanawa's special report on sex.
Tricia: Tom, I'm standing in the bedroom of Judy and Glenn Issacs. Ten years married and still in love. What's their secret? Judy has an inoperable brain tumor the size of my fist and that just happens to be Glenn's fetish

Peter: Hey Brian. How ya doin'? They let you out already?
Brian: Peter, I was in a therapy session, not a lunatic asylum

Brian: My therapist thinks he's figured out what my problem is.
Peter: Oh yeah, what does Sigmund Fraud think it is?
Brian: He, ah, thinks I'm in love.
Peter: Oh my God. You can talk!
Brian: Never mind

Stewie, did you unhook mommy's bra?

Lois

Brian: Okay, just to be clear, we were talking about me being in love with you and you rejecting me, right?
Lois: Yes.
Brian: I'm just making sure.... Say we were both drunk and we knew we wouldn't remember...
Lois: Well, I'd have to be really, really... No!

You're urinating! So, it's been you all along. Oh, this is too perfect! I've been taking the blame for Rex!

Stewie

Bob Barker: Help control the pet population and have your pet spayed or neutered.
Brian: Oh, just die already

Displaying all 12 quotes

Family Guy Season 2 Episode 4 Quotes

You're urinating! So, it's been you all along. Oh, this is too perfect! I've been taking the blame for Rex!

Stewie

Bob Barker: Help control the pet population and have your pet spayed or neutered.
Brian: Oh, just die already

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