Family Guy Season 5 Episode 7: "Chick Cancer" Quotes
Stewie: Well if you think I'm a baby, then perhaps I should act like a baby! Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!
Man: Hey can you keep that kid quiet?
Stewie: Oh, oh, oh, what's that? What's that sir? What's that, uh ,uh I'm, I'm sorry am I being too loud for you? You want to come over here and quiet me down?
Olivia: Oh, let's not do this.
Brian: Oh God Stewie come on.
Jillian: I'm scared.
Stewie: No, it's okay. It's okay. Sir, do you feel strong? You want to come over here?
Man: No, I want to stay here and have my steak.
Stewie: Oh yeah?
Stewie: What is that, the Porterhouse?
Stewie: How is it?
Man: What do you care?
Stewie: If we weren't fighting, would you recommend it?
Man: Yeah I would.
Stewie: Well, I know what I'm getting.
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Lois: Peter, have you been up all night watching chick movies?
Peter: Lois, before I found these movies, women only made me cry through my penis. Now they make me cry through my eyes.
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Stewie: Hey babe, what do ya say, we goin' out Saturday night?
Olivia: Stewie, what are you doing here? I told you, I'm just into a different type of guy.
Stewie: Oh yeah? I'll tell you what you're into. Bein' ugly.
Olivia: Stewie, you're being mean.
Stewie: No, if I was being mean, when you opened the door, I would have said "Oh, Hey Ray Liotta, is Olivia home? Oh wait, you're Olivia". You see, I thought you were Ray Liotta, because your skin has the texture of a decorative autumn squash.
(Olivia begins to cry)
So, I'll pick you up at seven?
Olivia: (while sobbing) That sounds wonderful.
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(Stewie and Olivia arriving late to dinner with Brian and Jillian)Stewie: (exhales) Sorry we're late everyone, but JonBent here took forever with her make-up.Olivia: Ah yes, and we probably would've shaved a few minutes off our trip, but Mr. Cheap-o here refused to let the valet touch his Big Wheels, so we had to drive around the block six times till we could find a spot, (crosses her arms) but to his credit it's a great spot to get mugged.Stewie: (sarcastically) Oh wouldn't that be a shame, if they took all my money in both our wallets.
- Permalink: Oh wouldn't that be a shame, if they took all my money in both o...
Stewie: Uh, what's for dinner?Olivia: (reaches behind her to grab the Play-doh Fun Factory machine) Play-Doh spaghetti.Stewie: (pauses) Oh..Olivia: (stops making Play-Doh spaghetti) What?Stewie: No, no, it's..it's nothing, just had Play-Doh spaghetti last night (pauses) (under breathe, looking away) and that's all we had last night.Olivia: (angry) What does that mean?Stewie: Oh I don't know Olivia, uh maybe that we are in a sex-less marriage, we have yet to have sex..Olivia: Do you even know what sex is?Stewie: (angry) That's not the point, don't change the...it's a kind of cake..
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Lois: (excited) Oh my god, Sandra Oh, (nervous laugh) we loved you in Sideways.Sandra Oh: Thank you.Peter: (explanatory tone) WE SEE YOU IN MANY MOVIES. I THINK ABOUT YOU WHILE HAVING SEX WITH MY WIFE. (pulls out one dollar bill) I THANK YOU WITH ONE DOLLAR. (turns to Lois) That's a lot of money to them.
- Permalink: WE SEE YOU IN MANY MOVIES. I THINK ABOUT YOU WHILE HAVING SEX WI...
(about Vageena Hurts) ...but it was too late, and she died from an angry Hymen.Peter
- Permalink: ...but it was too late, and she died from an angry Hymen.
(Brian and Stewie sitting at table)Brian: So what happened?Stewie: Well, you wanna know what I learned this week? Being a grown-up sucks. Women, Brian...what a royal pain in the ass. It's like, it's like, why can't you just hang out with guys, you know? Just live with someone of your own sex. Just do what you would do with women, but with your buddy, you know? Why don't guys just do that?Brian: They do, it's called being gay.Stewie: Oh, that's what gay is? Oh yeah, I could totally get into that.
- Permalink: Oh, that's what gay is? Oh yeah, I could totally get into that.