Jesus: I am a JewPeter: Prove it. What's a 9% tip on a $200 dinner?
Jesus: It's $18, which is very fair
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Peter: This family believes in the Easter bunny. He died for our sins in that helicopter crash
• Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink
Meg: Mom, is sodomy illegal if you're Jewish?
Lois: I hope so Meg, I really do
Peter: It's not, Lois.... it's not
• Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink
Lois: Mom, you're Jewish?
Barbara: I'm sorry we never told you dear, when we were married, your father made me conceal the fact so we could get into country clubs
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Lois: Peter, stop that! We're not having sex, I just told you I have a lump!
Peter: I have a lump too and mine's easier to get rid of
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Chris: Hey dad, where you going with that cutout?
Peter: Oh hey kids, this is Kathy, we're designing lifestyle products together. It's completely legitimate, but don't tell your mother!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 6
