Family Guy

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Lois: You see, our son Chris, well...
Peter: Wait, Lois, we have to handle this delicately. Mrs. Lockhart, our son....would like to plow you.
Mrs. Lockhart: Oh, I had a feeling it was something like that

Brian: Aiight, aiight, so I'm chillin with my homies in Verona, when my homie busts out with "Yo, Romeo, check out that biatch, Juliet, in the window." The problem is, Juliet's peeps are like East Coast rappers, and my posse's representin' West Siiiide, just like my boys Tupac and Biggie. Know what I'm sayin?
Student 1: That's racist man.
Student 2: Yeah man, that's just straight ig'nant dawg

Carlos: I'm Carlos, and beneath my tough exterior is a boy aching to learn! And beneath that is a rapist.
Samantha: My name is Samantha, and my water just broke!
Brian: Oh my God!
Tim: Yo, it's my turn to deliver!
Girl: Can I have this one? My mom keeps giving mine away

Girl: O Captain my Captain!
Brian: Alright, be the best damn hooker you can be!
Girl #2: O Captain, my Captain!
Brian: In your case, I'd get the money up front

Lois: Look, Stewie, a note. You know, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris' pocket, she's more respectful then that.
Stewie: Yeah sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch

Chris: Why is everybody acting weird?
Lois: Chris, honey, we know what you did. And I have to say, honestly, I don't approve.
Chris: What I did? Oh, that I lied about my age to get into Indian bingo?
Peter: Uh, no.
Chris: That I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but still no.
Stewie: How is that close?

Chris: Hi, everybody! What's for dinner? I'm starving!
Peter: My god, his bloodlust is unquenchable!

Displaying all 7 quotes

Family Guy Season 4 Episode 2 Quotes

Chris: Why is everybody acting weird?
Lois: Chris, honey, we know what you did. And I have to say, honestly, I don't approve.
Chris: What I did? Oh, that I lied about my age to get into Indian bingo?
Peter: Uh, no.
Chris: That I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but still no.
Stewie: How is that close?

Chris: Hi, everybody! What's for dinner? I'm starving!
Peter: My god, his bloodlust is unquenchable!