Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXFamily Guy Season 4 Episode 2: "Fast Times at Buddy Cianci Jr. High" Quotes
Lois: You see, our son Chris, well...
Peter: Wait, Lois, we have to handle this delicately. Mrs. Lockhart, our son....would like to plow you.
Mrs. Lockhart: Oh, I had a feeling it was something like that
Brian: Aiight, aiight, so I'm chillin with my homies in Verona, when my homie busts out with "Yo, Romeo, check out that biatch, Juliet, in the window." The problem is, Juliet's peeps are like East Coast rappers, and my posse's representin' West Siiiide, just like my boys Tupac and Biggie. Know what I'm sayin?
Student 1: That's racist man.
Student 2: Yeah man, that's just straight ig'nant dawg
Carlos: I'm Carlos, and beneath my tough exterior is a boy aching to learn! And beneath that is a rapist.
Samantha: My name is Samantha, and my water just broke!
Brian: Oh my God!
Tim: Yo, it's my turn to deliver!
Girl: Can I have this one? My mom keeps giving mine away
Girl: O Captain my Captain!
Brian: Alright, be the best damn hooker you can be!
Girl #2: O Captain, my Captain!
Brian: In your case, I'd get the money up front
Lois: Look, Stewie, a note. You know, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris' pocket, she's more respectful then that.
Stewie: Yeah sure, whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch
Chris: Why is everybody acting weird?
Lois: Chris, honey, we know what you did. And I have to say, honestly, I don't approve.
Chris: What I did? Oh, that I lied about my age to get into Indian bingo?
Peter: Uh, no.
Chris: That I had hard gas and pooed myself?
Peter: Close, but still no.
Stewie: How is that close?
Chris: Hi, everybody! What's for dinner? I'm starving!
Peter: My god, his bloodlust is unquenchable!