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Family-guy

Peter: Woah! Is that really the blood of Christ?
Priest: Yes.
Peter: Man, that guy must have been wasted 24 hours a day, huh?

There's always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and it's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just, I want her not to be alive anymore

Stewie

You know, some people think that dandelions are weeds, but, you know, I always think, who the hell decided tulips were so great?

Peter

Meg: That's it, I want those cameras off!
Chris: Fourth wall, You're breaking the fourth wall!

Hot Meg: Hi Chris.
Chris: Oh my God! You know my name?

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