Family Guy Season 5 Episode 17: "It Takes a Village Idiot, and I Married One" Quotes
Lois: Oh you guys, I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of your hard work. It's really gonna make a difference with my campaign.
Peter: Hey Lois, take a look. I just made five hundred tee shirts that say "Vote For Lois, unless you're queer. No, wait, even if you're queer. No Jews, though. Okay, Jews."
- Permalink: Oh you guys, I can't tell you how much I appreciate all of your ...
Tom Tucker: Good evening Quahog, I'm Tom Tucker.
Diane Simmons: And I'm Diane Simmons. The Quahog mayoral race is heating up, with incumbent Adam West squaring off against challenger, Lois Griffin.
Tom Tucker: Which leads many political analysts to ask the question: Can a woman really be mayor? Or will she just menstruate all over the city? Stay with us.
- Permalink: Good evening Quahog, I'm Tom Tucker. And I'm Diane Simmons. Th...
(to a woman on the street) Hey baby, wanna take a gander at some Adam West penis?Adam West
- Permalink: Hey baby, wanna take a gander at some Adam West penis?
Stewie: Brian, how many years have I been saying you and I should go berry picking?
Brian: A lot of years, Stewie.
Stewie: Wait a minute. Do you know where we are, Brian? This is a very special place. They say once every 100 years, in this spot, Donny Most rises from the mist.
Brian: Ah, I think that's just a legend.
Stewie: Well that's because you're...look!
- Permalink: Brian, how many years have I been saying you and I should go ber...
(About Quahog Lake's pollution)What kind of world is it when you can't even trust the oil companies anymore?Peter
- Permalink: What kind of world is it when you can't even trust the oil compa...
Lois: What is it?
Adam: (quietly) A bee just flew in through the window. Don't move.
(The bee sits in the mayor's chair)
Bee: Hmm. Now look who's mayor. First order of business; free honey for everyone! Yay, Mayor Bee, Mayor Bee, Mayor Bee--OW! Oh, done stung myself. Bye world...
- Permalink: What is it? A bee just flew in through the window. Don't move...
(the Griffins are heading to Quagmire's cabin)
Peter: This will be much better than that vacation we took with the Price Is Right yodeler
(cuts to scene where the Griffins are riding up the mountain with the yodeler)
Peter: Ok, you can stop here. There's no way that microwave costs more than three hundred bucks. Stop here! Don't listen to that fat tourist, she doesn't know how much a microwave costs. Stop!
(they go over the edge)
Peter: We should have gone to Plinko like Cleveland.
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Hey, hey, Lois, look, look, another dog, Look, there's another dog! Hey other dog, f*** you!Brian
- Permalink: Hey, hey, Lois, look, look, another dog, Look, there's another d...
Lois: Hey you guys.
Chris: Mom, everyone on TV says you're running the town great. Maybe you could do some damn laundry once in a while.
- Permalink: Hey you guys. Mom, everyone on TV says you're running the town...