I can't go to jail. They'll razz me good on account of my belly.

• Permalink: I can't go to jail. They'll razz me good on account of my belly.
• Added: October 25, 2015

If cellphones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.

Quagmire

• Permalink: If cellphones worked, every movie would be two minutes long.
• Added: October 25, 2015

What if God is a serial killer? He lowers the average lifespan of humans to 65.

• Permalink: What if God is a serial killer? He lowers the average lifespan of humans to 65.
• Added: October 25, 2015

I'm as creative as the first spider to spin a web.

• Permalink: I'm as creative as the first spider to spin a web.
• Added: October 25, 2015