Family Guy Season 5 Episode 9: "Road to Rupert" Quotes
Stewie: (while carjacking a man) GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR! GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR RIGHT NOW, MAN! (smashes the window)
Driver: (screaming) OH, JESUS!
Stewie: GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR!
Driver: OH, MY GOD!!!
Stewie: DO IT! GO! DO IT OR I'LL F**KING KILL YOU!!! GET THE F**K OUT OF THE F**KING CAR!
(Brian carries the driver out of the car, then drive off as the driver leaves screaming)
Brian: Did we just carjack someone?
Stewie: We sure did, Brian. We sure did.
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(Peter uses a lighter to make a fire on Meg's head)
Joe: Hey, Meg don't be such a "hothead".
Cleveland: Meg, you look "hot".
Peter: Meg, I just lit your scalp on fire.
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Ooh, a dollar!</i> Peter
(Peter leaves anvil and goes to pick up dollar and anvil falls on him)
- Permalink: Ooh, a dollar!
Man: Interesting. What do I get if I win?
Stewie: My dog.
Man: Hmm. What can he do?
Stewie: Um, if you put peanut butter on your body, he'll lick it off. (moment of silence) (whispers) Anywhere.
- Permalink: Interesting. What do I get if I win? My dog. Hmm. What can h...
And just in time, too. I can't keep my teeth from chattering. Isn't that fun? I got these at Jack's Joke Shop in South Attleboro, Massachusetts. Remember, if it ain't funny, it ain't worth Jack. (Brian slaps him) Ahh! Bitch.Stewie
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Brian: I mean, you are getting a little old to have a teddy bear.
Stewie: Brian, I'm one!
- Permalink: I mean, you are getting a little old to have a teddy bear. Bri...
If I enter Connecticut, I'm entering every state that Connecticut's ever been with. Good luck, brave travelers.Adam West
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Adam West: Can I help you, gentlemen?
Brian: Follow that truck. (silence) Didn't you hear me? I said, "Follow that truck."
Adam West: Oh, I heard you. What I didn't hear was "please."
Brian and Stewie: (simultaneously) Please follow that truck.
- Permalink: Can I help you, gentlemen? Follow that truck. Didn't you hea...
Joe: I'm here to revoke your driver's license.
Peter: What? Why?
Joe: We got reckless driving, disturbing the peace, plus the driver of one of those other cars was a virgin whose hymen was busted by the airbags, so rape.
- Permalink: I'm here to revoke your driver's license. What? Why? We got ...