Family Guy Season 5 Episode 9: "Road to Rupert" Quotes
Herbert: Hey there Chris.
Chris: Hi mister Herbert!
Herbert: Sellin' yer old Hand-me-downs?
Herbert: Ya got anything that ya used to wear in the summer time?
Chris: Just these old shorts.
Herbert: Sweet Jesus.
- Permalink: Hey there Chris. Hi mister Herbert! Sellin' yer old Hand-me-...
Lois: Peter, you can't drive a car over that. You're going to get hurt.
Peter: Lois, I don't come down to Burger King and tell you how to do your job.
Lois: Peter, I don't work at Burger...
Peter: I don't work at Burgagagagagaga, I'm busy.
- Permalink: Peter, you can't drive a car over that. You're going to get hurt...
Theme to My Black Son
(sung)This time around,
I'm stayin' at home,
And things are gonna get better.
Lovin' My Wife,
But then I got that letter.
My black son, My black son,
Now each day my heart is gettin' bigger!
Don't even remember sleepin' with that lady but I did.
My black son, He's comin' to stay.
My black son, He's makin' each day
The best that he can!
(spoken) Also, he's a ninja.
- Permalink: Theme to My Black Son This time around, I'm stayin' at home, ...
Now if you'll excuse me, I have some death to defy.Peter
- Permalink: Now if you'll excuse me, I have some death to defy.
Peter: Holy Crap! Evil Knievil gloves! I bet I could do a wheelie with these! (to Brian) How much for the gloves?
Brian: Peter, those are yours.
Peter: Ten bucks! Two! Seven! Four! Five fifty! Ten! Sold! Sucker, I would have gone to fifteen easy. (Proudly) I am so stupid.
- Permalink: Holy Crap! Evil Knievil gloves! I bet I could do a wheelie with ...
Brian:( singing) Take to the highway, won't you lend me your name...
Stewie: Who sings that song?
Brian: James Taylor.
Stewie: Yeah, let's keep it that way.
- Permalink: Take to the highway, won't you lend me your name... Who sings ...
Lois: Who wants a glass of fresh lemonade?
Peter: Not me! What I want is a fresh glass of better daughter.
(Peter throws his lemonade at Meg)
- Permalink: Who wants a glass of fresh lemonade? Not me! What I want is a ...
Guy: Wow! I can't believe it! One minute I'm filling up at Chevron, the next I'm having sex with Sharron Stone! Sharron Stone: Yeah. Now comes the best part. (She turns into a monster and eats the guy's head)
- Permalink: Yeah. Now comes the best part.
Peter: (kicking the driver's seat in the car) I WANT APPLE JUICE!!!
Meg: (sighs) You wanna watch SpongeBob?
Peter: Yes! With apple juice.
(Meg pulls down a TV screen and Peter watches SpongeBob)
- Permalink: I WANT APPLE JUICE!!! You wanna watch SpongeBob? Yes! With ...
Stewie: (while carjacking a man) GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR! GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR RIGHT NOW, MAN! (smashes the window)
Driver: (screaming) OH, JESUS!
Stewie: GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR!
Driver: OH, MY GOD!!!
Stewie: DO IT! GO! DO IT OR I'LL F**KING KILL YOU!!! GET THE F**K OUT OF THE F**KING CAR!
(Brian carries the driver out of the car, then drive off as the driver leaves screaming)
Brian: Did we just carjack someone?
Stewie: We sure did, Brian. We sure did.
- Permalink: GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR! GET OUT OF THE F**KING CAR RIGHT NOW...
(Peter uses a lighter to make a fire on Meg's head)
Joe: Hey, Meg don't be such a "hothead".
Cleveland: Meg, you look "hot".
Peter: Meg, I just lit your scalp on fire.
- Permalink: Hey, Meg don't be such a hothead. Huh? Meg, you look hot. ...
Ooh, a dollar!</i> Peter
(Peter leaves anvil and goes to pick up dollar and anvil falls on him)
- Permalink: Ooh, a dollar!
(After Stewie dances, he and Brian are allowed to use a helicopter, which they fly over the mountains)
Stewie:(Over the helicopter's propellers) Brian, be careful cause the mountains are the same color as the sky!
Stewie: I said be careful cause the mountains are the same color as the- WHOA!!!
Brian: What the hell was that?
Stewie: I'm practicing my comedy crash.
Brian: Well keep it down because I'm trying to-
(The helicopter is about to hit a mountain)
Brian & Stewie: WHOA!!!
(They swerve away from the mountain but the tail of their helicopter hits a cliff, causing them to hit a slope and slide down the mountain, they crash into a rock, sail out of the cockpit and hit the snowbank)
Stewie: Imagine the dance I'm gonna have to do to get our security deposit back.
- Permalink: Brian, be careful cause the mountains are the same color as the ...
Stewie: Thanks for the lift, Bandit. Good look tapping that hot... hot... Sally Field tail....
Bandit: Shut up, I don't like it anymore then you do!
- Permalink: Thanks for the lift, Bandit. Good look tapping that hot... hot.....