Sundays 9:00 PM on FOX

Brian: Peter, what is that?
Peter: Well, I got the idea to build a panic room after I saw that movie The Butterfly Effect. I thought, wow, this is terrible. I wish I could escape to a place where this movie couldn't find me.

Moses Griffin: Here we are, the Red Sea. Now all we gotta do is swim across.
Jew 1: I didn't bring my trunks.
Jew 2: I don't wanna step on a shell.
Jew 3: I can't get water in my ears.
Jew 4: I ate 20 minutes ago.
Jew 5: You know, what they flush in Cairo ends up right here.
Moses Griffin: [Sighs] All right, I see what I can do. [Parts the Sea]
Jew 6: "Oooh, I can part the Red Sea", you know he hasn't talked to his brother in three years.

Stewie: Yeah, I hate you too, bitch. Oh no no, I'm just kidding, could you imagine?

Nate Griffin: Hey Quagdingo, how was your date last night?
Quagdingo: Ah, it was awesome. You never feel as big as you do with a pygmy.

Black Diane: Coming up this half hour: Flies on your face. How many is too many?
Black Tom: But first: That orange thing in the sky, and what you can do to please it.

People buy wheel because of sexy wife. Tonight you and me party like it's 9!

Caveman Peter

Meg: (after Joe and the cops take her away) Aaaaah! Dad! Help me!
Peter: Have fun at the dance, Meg! I hope she does. That kid really deserves it.

Nate Griffin: Hi, I'm Nate Griffin. I work against my will for your dad.
Lois Pewterschmidt: Oh, yeah? What do you do?
Nate Griffin: Well, let's just say I know my way around a hoe!

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