Friends Season 2 Episode 3: "The One Where Heckles Dies" Quotes
Ross: Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Okay? I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, okay? You can literally see them evolving through time.
Phoebe: Really? You can actually see it?
Ross: You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.
Phoebe: See, I didn't know that.
Ross: Well, there you go.
Phoebe: Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why.
Chandler: And now I have to get a snake.
Phoebe: Ah huh...why is that?
Chandler: If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing. Y'know, a hook; like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be crazy man with a snake! Y'know, Crazy Snake Man! And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids won't walk past my place they will run! "Run away from Crazy Snake Man!!" they'll shout!
Monica: (To Chandler): You are not a freak. You're a guy.
Monica: (Discussing the seashell lamp) Did you know I'm allergic to shellfish?
Rachel: Well, then you'll just have to eat the other lamps.
Monica: Look at all this crap!
Chandler: Actually I believe this place sullies the good name of crap.
Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.
Chandler
Ross: You don't believe in gravity?
Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that, you know, like, I don't believe in it, you know, it's just ... I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed!
(Knocking on the door)
Chandler: Uh oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed. Quick Pheebs, jump on the ceiling!
Rachel: Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.
Chandler: Neat. I'm gonna die alone.
Rachel: Okay, you win.
Phoebe: You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.
Chandler: Maureen Rosilla.
Ross: Not hating Yanni is not a real reason.
Our trains are on the same track, okay? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same! Bitter Town! Aloneville! Hermit Junction!
Chandler
