(After Joey puts a toilet brush over the hole he gouged in the bathroom floor) Aw, that's nice. We can put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!


Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get 'ya?
Chandler: No, you didn't get me! It's an electric drill! You get me, you kill me!

Joey: You know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail?
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
Chandler: You're building a post office?

Oh, you know what? You were on my list of five goofy coffeehouse guys I could sleep with, but yesterday you got bumped for that guy over there!

Isabella Rossellini

Chandler: Okay. On three. One. Two.
Joey: Why don't we just go on two.
Chandler: Why two?
Joey: Because it's faster.
Chandler: You know, I could've counted to three like four times without all this two talk.
Joey: All right but in the future ...
Ross: Okay, okay, heavy thing not getting any lighter
Chandler: Okay. One. Two.
Joey: So we are going on two?

You know what it's my fault really because the couch is normally where we keep the varnish.


Ross: (About Isabella Rossellini) Damn! I can't believe I took her off my list.
Monica: Why? 'Cause otherwise you'd go for it?
Ross: Yeah, maybe.
Rachel: Oh oh, you lie.
Ross: What? You don't think I'd go up to her?
Rachel: Ross, it took you ten years to finally admit you liked me.
Ross: Yeah, well missy, you better be glad that list is laminated.
Rachel: You know what, honey? You go ahead. We'll call her an alternate.
Ross: Okay, hold my crawler.
Rachel: Okay. (He walks up to the counter.)
Monica: Rach, are you really gonna let him do this?
Rachel: Honey, he's about to go hit on Isabella Rossellini. I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn.

Hey! Where ya headin' in those pants? 1982?


(To Joey, about the lumber in their apartment) So, what happened? Did a forest tick you off?

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