Monica: You know it's funny, the last time Paolo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.
Phoebe: All right. Okay, but, but you have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.

(To Paolo) Okay, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.

Phoebe

Monica: Guys, you got your hair cut.
Chandler: Yes, yes, we did, thanks to Vidal Buffay.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.

Rachel: (Panting) Ross... not alone. Julie... arm around her... Cramp... Cramp!
Chandler: Okay, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick get the verbs.
Rachel: You... you you said he liked me. (Ross and Julie enter) You, you slow pokes!
Ross: That's okay, Rach. We got the bags.

Frankie: How long do you want the cuffs?
Chandler: Well, at least as long as I have the pants.

Ross: There was always this little voice saying "It's never gonna happen." You know whose voice that was?
Chandler: God's?
Ross: It was you.
Chandler: Maybe it was God doing me. I mean besides being all powerful and mighty, He's a wiz at voices.

Rachel: Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?
Monica: (To Julie) It's an expression.

Ross: (About Monica's new haircut) How's the hair?
Phoebe: I'm not gonna lie to you Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side which seems to have stopped the curling.
Joey: Can we see her?
Phoebe: Your hair looks too good, I think it would just upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.

Joey: Hey Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.
Chandler: Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?

Ross: We have to get some sleep. It's really six o'clock tomorrow night our time.
Chandler: Okay, but don't tell me what happens cause I like to be surprised!

(About Paolo) Okay, um well then I think, uh, I think the guy's scum. I mean it, I mean, I actually, I ...I physically hate him.

Rachel: Excuse me, who gave her our phone number?
Phoebe: Okay, well who had the motive? Was it the actor? The chef? The masseuse? Or... was it the guy who's dating her?
Joey: Guy who's dating! Guy who's dating her!

Friends Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Joey: How are you doing?
Rachel: I'm okay.
Joey: Ooh, that bad, huh? Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Rachel: When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, then fifty feet of crap, then me.

I swear to God, Dad. That's not how they measure pants!

Joey