Chandler: Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross: She's not Rachel.

Rastatter: Our FDA approval didn't come through. Something about laboratory rats.
Monica: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
Rastatter: Yeah, well, anyhow, here is your check. Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
Monica: Well, uh, I ate some.
Rastatter: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?

Rastatter: Hi, thanks for coming in again.
Monica: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Rastatter: It's like I'm looking in a mirror. Anyway, they're called fishtachios. They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Monica: Cat hair.
Rastatter: Oh, sorry.

Monica: (Answering the phone) Hello?
Ross: Hi.
Rachel: (To Monica) Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down.

Ross: (Climbing up the fire escape) Rach! Whoops! Rach, hey, open up, please!
Rachel: (Coldly) When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape.

Phoebe: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: What?
Chandler: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
Monica: This was your idea?
Phoebe: What were you thinking?
Chandler: (Squirming) All right, let's get some perspective here, okay? These things, they happen for a reason.
Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, okay? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah. By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.

It's always been you, Rach.

Ross

Monica: How about "Mockolate mousse?"
Phoebe: It's not, it's not very Thanksgiving-y.
Monica: Okay, how about "Pilgrim Mockolate mousse?"
Phoebe: What makes it pilgrim?
Monica: We'll put buckles on it.

Rastatter: This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo.
Monica: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
Rastatter: Mockolate.
Monica: I'm sorry?
Rastatter: Mockolate. It's a completely synthetic chocolate substitute.
Monica: Oh.
Rastatter: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
Monica: All right.
(She tastes it, and obviously hates it)
Rastatter: Yeah?
Monica: (Trying not to show her disgust) I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.

Ross: I get home, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, "Oh my God, what the hell am I doing?" I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Joey: You got all that from saline solution?

Monica: (Reading the paper) There are no jobs. There are no jobs for me.
Joey: Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
Monica: There's an ad for a naked chef?
Joey: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... (Rubs his hands together suggestively)

Chandler: Okay, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, okay? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
Ross: Can't we just use a pen?
Chandler: No, Amish boy.

Friends Season 2 Episode 8 Quotes

This must be so hard. "Oh no! Two women love me! They're both gorgeous and sexy! My wallet's too small for my fifties, and my diamond shoes are too tight!"

Chandler

Rastatter: Our FDA approval didn't come through. Something about laboratory rats.
Monica: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
Rastatter: Yeah, well, anyhow, here is your check. Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
Monica: Well, uh, I ate some.
Rastatter: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?