Rastatter: Our FDA approval didn't come through. Something about laboratory rats.
Monica: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
Rastatter: Yeah, well, anyhow, here is your check. Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
Monica: Well, uh, I ate some.
Rastatter: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?

Rastatter: Hi, thanks for coming in again.
Monica: Oh, not at all. I have no morals and I need the cash.
Rastatter: It's like I'm looking in a mirror. Anyway, they're called fishtachios. They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Monica: Cat hair.
Rastatter: Oh, sorry.

Monica: (Answering the phone) Hello?
Ross: Hi.
Rachel: (To Monica) Is that him again? Tell him I'd come to the phone, but my ankles are weighing me down.

Ross: (Climbing up the fire escape) Rach! Whoops! Rach, hey, open up, please!
Rachel: (Coldly) When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape.

Phoebe: I... I cannot believe Ross even made this list. What a dinkus.
Joey: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
Phoebe: What?
Monica: What?
Chandler: Oh good, I was hoping that would come up.
Monica: This was your idea?
Phoebe: What were you thinking?
Chandler: (Squirming) All right, let's get some perspective here, okay? These things, they happen for a reason.
Monica: Yeah. You!
Chandler: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, okay? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
Phoebe: Yeah. By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.

It's always been you, Rach.


Monica: How about "Mockolate mousse?"
Phoebe: It's not, it's not very Thanksgiving-y.
Monica: Okay, how about "Pilgrim Mockolate mousse?"
Phoebe: What makes it pilgrim?
Monica: We'll put buckles on it.

Rastatter: This is a nice resume. Nice, nice, nice. Muy impressivo.
Monica: So, Mr. Rastatter, what exactly does this job entail? The ad wasn't too clear.
Rastatter: Mockolate.
Monica: I'm sorry?
Rastatter: Mockolate. It's a completely synthetic chocolate substitute.
Monica: Oh.
Rastatter: Go ahead. Try a piece. Yeah, we think that Mockolate is even better than chocolate.
Monica: All right.
(She tastes it, and obviously hates it)
Rastatter: Yeah?
Monica: (Trying not to show her disgust) I love how it crumbles. Now see, your chocolate doesn't do that.

Chandler: Okay, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
Ross: She's not Rachel.

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