Ross: Okay! Okay. Look, I, uh, I realize you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal: Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Judy: (To Monica) You knew about this?

I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.


Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him. "Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!" Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder.


That's because as far as my parents are concerned, Ross can do no wrong. Ya see, he's the Prince. Apparently they had some big ceremony before I was born.


Yes, and we all know how cruel a parent can be about the flatness of a child's pillow.


Barry: I really wanted to thank you.
Rachel: Okay.
Barry: See, about a month ago I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.

Ross: They want me to go down to this sonogram thing with them tomorrow. Remember back when life was simpler and she was just a lesbian?
Chandler: Ah, those were the days.

Monica: (Cleaning frantically) Whose little ball of paper is this?
Chandler: Oh, that would be mine. See, I wrote a note to myself, then I realized I didn't need the note. So I balled it up and now I wish I was dead.

Judy: (About Rachel) Well, at least she had the chance to leave a man at the altar.
Monica: What's that supposed to mean?
Judy: Nothing. It's an expression.
Monica: No, it's not.
Jack: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent and you always have been. Even when you were a kid, and you were chubby and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you'd read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
There are people, like Ross, who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are. I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer. They're happy with what they have, they're basically content, like... cows.

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