Friends Season 1 Episode 17: "The One with Two Parts (2)" Quotes
(Pretending to be Rachel) See, I was supposed to get married, but I left the guy at the altar. Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish but, hey, that's me!
Monica
Monica: (On the phone pretending to be Rachel) Hi, Dad. No, no, it's me. Listen, Dad, I can't talk right now, um, but there's something, um... there's something that I've been meaning to tell you...
Rachel: (To their confused dates) Would you excuse me for a second? (Rushing to the kitchen to stop Monica)
Monica: (As Rachel) Remember back in freshman year? Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed!
Ursula: Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: No. No food with a face.
Ursula: You have not changed.
Phoebe: (Entering her surprise party) Oh, oh, oh! This is so great! Oh, my God! This was not at all scary. Hi everybody. Hi Betty! Betty, hi! You found Betty! Oh, my God! This is great. Everybody I love is in the same room. Where's Joey?
Chandler: Did you see Betty?
Joey: I'm taking Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Ross: Whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday?
Joey: When's that?
Ross: Tonight.
Joey: Oh, man. What are the odds of that happening?
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
Chandler: Well, only if you order stuff.
Monica: Hi. Um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms.
Admissions Woman: Why?
Monica: I am really an idiot. You see, I was filling out my friend's forms, and instead of putting her information, I put mine.
Admissions Woman: You are an idiot.
Rachel: I'm sorry that I said you were a cow in high school.
Monica: That's okay, I was a cow.
Rachel: I know. I'm just sorry I said it.
Ross: The doctor got the 'K' out. He also found a 'M' and an 'O'.
Chandler: We think he was trying to spell out 'MONKEY'.
Chandler: So you feel like a dad yet?
Ross: No. Why?
Chandler: Hey come on, you came through. You did what you had to do. That is very "dad."
Monica: (Yelling) Rach, are these your condoms?
Rachel: What? Sorry, that's Monica. She's drunk again.
Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?
Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?!
Rachel: You know what?
Monica: What?!!
Rachel: Every day, you are becoming more and more like your mother.
