Futurama Season 2 Episode 13: "A Bicyclops Built for Two" Quotes
Leela: If I leave Alkazar, that's the end of the Cyclops race. And I won't let that happen. Even if it means a lifetime of unhappiness.
Toilet flushes
Alkazar: Leela! Mop up in aisle number two!
Leela: I'll break up with him at dinner.
Fry: I think Alkazar's hiding something from you. Listen, Leela, you may not like it, you may not believe it, you may not wanna hear it but Alkazar's a jerk. He's bad for you. He-
Leela: I know.
Fry: You do?
Leela: Fry, if it's obvious to you with your learning disability then of course it's obvious to me. He's crude and gross and he treats me like a slave.
Fry: Then dump his one-eyed ass!
Alkazar: By the way, your pal Fry fell into the dungeon. Take him a taco so he doesn't die and stink up the place.
Leela: Come on, Al, can't you let the little guy out?
Alkazar: Jeez, Leela, twice in one day? I'm not Superman!
Leela: Too bad they weren't giving away the three things you actually need: Mouthwash, a back wax and stain-proof underwear.
Bender: Ah, Leela's experiencing the greatest joy a woman can feel: Worshipping some low-life jerk.
Leela: Look, Alkazar-
Alkazar: Call me Al.
Leela: Look, Al. I know you've been living alone a long time and I can sympathise, but I'm not your maid.
Alkazar: You're right, I'm sorry. I guess the relationship isn't going to work. So much for the Cyclops race. I thought it was a pretty good race but...
Alkazar: Listen, hon', we don't want to look like slobs in front of the other species, do we?
Leela: No.
Alkazar: So get to work on these dishes. And then organise my collection of naked celebrity photos by name and what you can see.
Fortunately, I was employed as a pool cleaner at the time and, when I emerged from retrieving a dead possum, I found I was the only one left.
Alkazar
Alkazar: Our smartest scientists managed to save one baby.
Leela: Alkazar, I used to be a baby, it might have been me!
Things got hot. You look a little hot, actually. You can take off that jacket... Our people don't like to be hot.
Alkazar
It wasn't long ago. Our people were happy and prosperous... but the eyeless mole people of Subterra 3 grew jealous of our visual prowess. They fired missile in all directions hoping to hit Cyclopia. Unfortunately, one of the 40 planets hit, was ours.
Alkazar
Alkazar: How about some coffee?
Leela: Uh, sure. How do you take that?
Alkazar: With sausage and pancakes. Kitchen's downstairs.
