Futurama Season 2 Episode 12: "Raging Bender" Quotes
Doubledeal: Son, I'm the commissioner of Ultimate Robot Fighting. I'm a connoisseur of jerks like you who pick fights in movie theatres and you're the biggest I've ever seen.
Bender: You should see me at funerals.
Doubledeal: Kid, I want you in the Ultimate Robot Fighting League.
Bender: Ultimate Robot Fighting? Sounds pleasant! I'll do it.
Robot: Pardon me, sir, but you seem to be inadvertently kicking my seat.
Bender: "Pardon me, sir, but you seem to be bleh, bleh..."
Robot: Yes, that's the gist of what I said.
Monique: Calculon, a fight scene has broken out at the special effects warehouse. Come quickly before a fiery explosion chases someone down a hallway.
Calculon: I have no choice but to-
Announcer: If you want Calculon to race to the laser gun battle in his hover-Ferarri, press 1. If you want Calculon to double-check his paperwork, press 2. Enter now.
Chair: You have pressed 2.
Fry: No, I didn't!
Chair: I'm almost positive you did.
Bender: Uh, hey, buddy! Yo! You mind taking your head off?
Robot: I'm sorry, sir, but I need it to watch the movie.
Bender: Just ask Flabby over here to describe it to you later.
Robot: Sir, she is as the factory made her.
Bender: Well they should have stopped making her about halfway through.
Announcer: This week in the universe: New New York mayor C. Randall Poopenmeyer opens a new tube line to alleviate rush hour traffic.
Dateline: Paramecium Homeworld. Newly-crowned Miss Universe Glady's Lennox entertains troops fighting to wipe out the human race. Go get 'em, boys!
And in the world of Ultimate Robot Fighting, the Masked Unit wins his championship bout against Gorgeous Gonks by technical melting.
Down in front!
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Hey, gimme a large diet malt liquor and a popcorn with extra motor oil.
Fry: Cool! Let's see this one!
Leela: Nah. I'm not in the mood for a historical documentary. I've heard good things about Quizblorg, Quizblorg.
Amy: Guk! I hate subtitles. Alien films are so pretentious.
Zoidberg: Fellows! Fellows! How about a film we can all enjoy? Planet Of The Clams. It's about an upside-down world where lobster is slave to clam.
Bender: Who invited you? Let's just see All My Circuits: The Movie.
Fry: Yeah, I wanna see that.
Bender: Good point, Bender.
Hermes: On to new business. Today's mission is for all of you to go to the Brain Slug Planet.
Zoidberg: What are we going to do there?
Hermes: Just walk around not wearing a helmet.
Amy: So how was the Spleef Nebula?
Hermes: The flight had a stopover on the Brain Slug Planet. Hermes liked it so much he decided to stay of his own free will.
Fry: Hermes has all the fun. Wait a second! He's got a Brain Slug on his head!
Leela: Shh! You're gonna get us all assimilated!
Amy: Just act normal and switch to a garlic shampoo.
Good news, everyone. I've taught the toaster to feel love.
Farnsworth
If you didn't want my help when you didn't need, why should I help you when you do need me?
Leela
