Futurama Season 2 Episode 8: "Xmas Story" Quotes
Santa: Ho, ho, ho! Time to get jolly on your naughty asses!
Leela: Watch out! His belly is shaking like a bowl full of nitro-glycerine!
Santa: As for the rest of you, I'm going to tear off your skin like wrapping paper and deck the halls with your guts.
Bender: Yeah? Well I don't believe in Santa Claus. Come on, everybody, if you don't believe in him, he can't hurt you. [Santa whacks Bender over the head with his sack.] Ow! God! The pain!
Sweet manatee of Galilee!
Hermes
Zoidberg: Amy, this is for you. A set of combs for your beautiful hair.
Amy: Oh, that's so sweet. But I sold my hair to a wigmaker so I could buy a set of combs for Hermes.
Hermes: Oh, the irony. I sold my hair so I could buy this third set of combs for Zoidberg.
Santa: Ho, ho, ho! You've been very naughty, Bender.
Bender: What? Me? I didn't do nothing. You're thinking of the kid.
Santa: My God, Bender! Framing an orphan? That's so naughty I'll have to add it to my list right now.
Fry: Help!
Leela: Somebody help us.
Tinny Tim: It's humans. Shall we mug them, robot sir?
Bender: No, wait, I know these guys. They got nothing.
Bender: On the 4th day of Xmas I stole from that lady.
Robot #1: Four family photos.
Tinny Tim: Three jars of pennies.
Robot #2: Two former husbands.
Bender: And a slipper on a shoe tree.
Fry: Please let us live! We'll put out milk and cookies for you!
Santa: You dare bribe Santa?
Fry: I just wanted to do something to make you happy. I mean, I miss my family but you never even had a family.
Leela: It's OK. You're lonely and I'm lonely. But, together, we're lonely together.
Alright, bird, you thought you could beat me in a game of wits. But you just met your equal.
Fry
Leela: Wait! You mean he's still out? His life's in danger!
Zoidberg: Why?
Leela: I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town!
